(no subject)

[robinbloke]

With the sad departure of Gypsy Rose David a gap has been placed in societies need.
Hence, bring to me your problems, your issues and woes and I, Doctor Penguin, (Bsc Hons Gib Eri Shh) in the spirit of quasi plagiarism shall propose a bizarre cause and solution to your situation.

So there.

Comments

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

You spoke too soon! Gypsy Rose David shall be returning tomorrow with a vision into *my* future!

[robinbloke.livejournal.com]

oooOOOO!

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

Dear Doctor Penguin

I have no problems. What should I do?

[robinbloke.livejournal.com]

Ah this is an extremely uncommon problem in todays society. You have a lack of angst.
What you need to do is become a goth, I recommend wearing black and drinking cider and black until you have the overwealming urge to migrate to Whitby.
Once there you should be able to lament your woes with hundreds of other black clad individuals and feel more self assured that you are entirely normal.

[nannyo.livejournal.com]

Dear Dr. Penguin,
I am sad and wan and in fear of answering my telephone, partly due to no longer working with penguins, and partly due to a scary client. What shall I do?
N.

[robinbloke.livejournal.com]

Ah, good day, I see the problem here;
Your cheese is clearly out of alignment, causing you needless worries and stress due to the holes in your phone giving you Edam flashbacks.
I suggest you eat a twisted half slice of cheddar and then ritually stomp on the other half whilst shouting "AIEEEEEE The lemmings!!!", all should be well with a few days.

[silja.livejournal.com]

Oh wise Dr Penguin,
what shall I do if my King Penguin and I have produced so many hatchlings, there is no space on our icefloe anymore? I don't want to feed them to the killer whales....

[robinbloke.livejournal.com]

Lack of living space here is all too often the fault of grains of sand in your eye. Your perceptions are blurred stopping you see the potential you have before you.
Select the largest of your offspring and use a sturdy bicycle pump to inflate them to a size not smaller than two acres. You and your feathered family can now happily live on the comfortable belly of your massive child.

[whotheheckami.livejournal.com]

Oh wise Dr Penguin I have a wife who wants to longer in bed all day reading Mills & Boon, eating chocolates and gazing at her flowers all day. She shows no signs of wanting to return to work. What should I do?