My eyes are open, but I cannot see

[robinbloke]

I am, as most know; a born again cynic. As far as I'm concerned maths, physics, chemistry etc run the universe; one is born, one lives, one becomes worm food. That is it. No afterlife, no greater purpose other than evolution, no ghosts, miracles, spirits, magic or whatnot. Nowt. It's all smoke and mirrors.
Now, that all said there is a part of me that desperately wants to be proved wrong, that in fact it isn't all cold, hard, logical reason and matter interaction; that there is something beyond what I can see - because I know many of my friends have (said they have) seen and experienced many things that I dismiss in my above statement.
So, a query to those who aren't hardened cynics like myself; out of curiosity - for those of you that believe in something, faith in the almighty, tarot, magic, spirits, ghosts... whatever - if you don't mind sharing that is - what made you realise or what did you first see or experience to show you that this world isn't just as it seems.
This is an open minded post, which I'm trying to be lately - I have no intention of treading on anyones toes regarding this, but I am curious.

Comments

[faerierhona.livejournal.com]

instead, come and see me for a weekend. I will take you to Avebury, to Wayland Smithy and a few other places, and SHOW you why

[robinbloke.livejournal.com]

That would be wonderful :)

[faerierhona.livejournal.com]

ok - no guarantees that anything profound happens, but the atmosphere is always there

[robinbloke.livejournal.com]

~nod~

I've been to Avebury before, and it is impressive; I used to go stone hunting as well, on a purely archeological interest level.

If nothing else it'll be good company and cream teas :)

[duranorak.livejournal.com]

I genuinely don't know where to start. And it would all sound completely implausible to a cynic such as yourself. :)

Statues in churches move, bleed, scream, etc, likewise paintings, a ghost cow lives on my mum's front lawn, I know obscure details about people's lives without being told, angels have visited my old school...and so on. ~shrug~

So what makes you think the world *is* just as it seems?

E.
x

[robinbloke.livejournal.com]

I have a logical mind (I decided at 10 I wanted to be an accountant, yes, sad). And since I've never seen, felt or heard anything other than what cold hard reality can explain I deal in what I know. Physical facts, equations, physics, etc.

[duranorak.livejournal.com]

~nods~ I guess if you see no inexplicable things, there's no reason to believe in them. :)

I decided at 6 I wanted to be a witch. Go figure.

E.
x

[ishmaela.livejournal.com]

Just out of curiosity, what books did you read as a child?

[robinbloke.livejournal.com]

Mostly Asterix, Tintin and The Three Investigators :) Plus some other bits and pieces I forget

[ua-meruti.livejournal.com]

When I was a kid, my mums boss was a spiritual healer. He did some stuff for my Nan who suffers from really bad nervous problems and depression. He helped her more than many of the doctors she'd seen. But that wasn't the thing that did it. My mum is also a keen Genealogist, I spent a great deal of my early life in cemeteries and graveyard (a wonder why I ended up like I did). She spent months looking for the grave of one of my ancestors, she jokingly asked her boss to get in contact and find out where this bloody grave is. He just looked at her knowingly and said that when the ancestor thought my mum had looked hard enough, then she would help us.
We looked around that graveyard 3 times. The last time was a fairly overcast day, after we'd been right round it and was about to go home, the clouds opened and illuminated the grave we'd been looking for. Cliched but true. There's even a photo somewhere.
Later in life I had an encounter with an entity in an old barn building my parents were about to buy. I'd gone to take a look. The second I set foot in the barn, I got this overwhelming feeling that something didn't want me there, I could pinpoint exactly where this "something" was, but I couldn't see it. I don't think I've ever been so scared in all my life. I told my parents I couldn't live on this land (there was a house as well) and they saw my face, and knew I wasn't making anything up. We left without further comment.
I've also witnessed several ghost sightings and other phenomena.

[robinbloke.livejournal.com]

Thank you. :)

[ua-meruti.livejournal.com]

Well you did ask.

[ishmaela.livejournal.com]

Hmmm...to be honest, I'm not sure what it is I actually believe. If pressed to "classify" myself, I tell people I'm an agnostic pagan, but sometimes I'm not so sure whether there's any truth to the idea that there's anything beyond what we term "reality."

Though I do tend towards the belief that there is some power in things that we can't fully understand. I don't know if I believe in a "god" per se, but I do sometimes sense that there's some force that connects everything. And there's no thing I can point to and say "This is what proves my belief"...it's more a feeling.

Like...touching my hand to the sanctuary stone inside the ruins of an ancient monastery in Ireland, I could feel something...yes, the coldness and texture of the stone, but more than that. There was almost an undercurrent of electricity there. Of course, I suppose it could be said that because of the antiquity of the site, I was expecting to feel something so therefore I did. But on the other hand, after being told the story of the ghost that supposedly haunted Malahide Castle, I was expecting to feel some sort of...something there, but I didn't.

But in the end, it all comes down to a feeling. A very strong feeling, but a feeling nonetheless.

[robinbloke.livejournal.com]

Been to all sorts of places and tried a few things, but felt nothing... much as I've wanted to.
Hence my cynicism :)

[ishmaela.livejournal.com]

Maybe you want to too badly?

Or the spirits are offended by your bullheaded cynicism? :p

I know where you're coming from, oddly enough. Like I said, I have tendencies towards cynicism myself. That's one reason the whole religion thing doesn't work for me...I do have a gut feeling that there's some power connecting us all, but I don't necessarily think that power is necessarily benevolent or works toward goodness and justice and whatnot. I see too much evidence otherwise.

But I still feel that power there in certain things. Eh...who knows? Maybe it's just some sort of natural energy field that my particular physiology makes me more susceptible to sensing and that your physiology is immune to. ;)

[crocodilewings.livejournal.com]

I understand exactly where you're coming from.

I've written extensively on the human need for belief in the inexplicable, and the best explanation I can find is that human beingd are, through freak chance, completely insane.

I've yet to find someone who can succesfully counter this conclusion :-)

[ishmaela.livejournal.com]

Well, if the Bible fundamentalists are right, we're all descendants of one man and one woman.

It's all that inbreeding, y'know. ;)

[crocodilewings.livejournal.com]

Slightly worse than that, not only are we the product of one man and one woman, but that couple only had three sons :-)

[ishmaela.livejournal.com]

Ah, yeah, I'd forgotten about that part.

We were all doomed from the start! ;)

[nisaba.livejournal.com]

I used to be a die-hard cynic. And then for various reasons I was made to do some thinking, and some observing, and tried looking at things in a different light. In the process I came across this (and related stories off that article) and this (scroll down for "The Magick of Languge[sic]", about half-way down), both of which have always kept me from taking back my cynical stance.

[vyvyan.livejournal.com]

Personally, I'm a cynic as well. However, I have a story to tell about mystical relevations. I had a friend at University who was very religious. He told me that he'd "seen the light" on entering a French lesson at school when he was about 10 - a bolt from the blue, in which he suddenly realised the existence and benevolence of God (so he said). His faith carried him through more than a decade. Then, suddenly, part way through his accountancy training post university, he lost his faith, all in an instant again - he had an anti-relevation, as it were: he "saw the dark".

So I think powerful "mystical" experiences can work both ways - either removing cynicism, or creating it!

[omentide.livejournal.com]

If it's of any interest, that also happened to me.

Well, something of a very similar nature. I'm pretty much a lifelong cynic (in many ways, not all, and I'm posting about that separately on this thread). Whatever, most of my life has been fine without 'faith'. Then, one day, when I had a whole load of problems, I 'found god'. Spent somewhere between 2 and 3 years with that. Then, walking down the road, all of a sudden, I didn't believe.

Weird.

[razornet.livejournal.com]

Quickly before I go home. I used to believe unshakably that there was a God in the catholic tradition and that he loved me and I loved him. Shortly after my confirmation I realised I was simply going through the actions and I didn't believe he was there, or if he was he wasn't listening. A short while after that I began to feel that I was sensitive to certain events in the world that were above and beyond the natural physical world. Shortly after that I began to believe that something was following me in a supernatural fashion and that I was causing me problems in a variety of malicious ways. Shortly after *that* I had a mental breakdown. When I had finally pieced my life back together I felt nothing. All of these experiences add to my cynicism and, like you, I have a part of me that wishes to be convinced if only for peace of mind. Being a conviced atheist is a much harder task than a convinced believer.

Faith is a complicated matter. I am atheist in demeanor, agnostic in nature. I feel I have experience in the supernatural if such a thing exists, but I am yet to be convinced. The importance of sacred places has always impressed me but they have never made me believe anymore than I did at the time.

See you tomorrow.

[omentide.livejournal.com]

I don't see the contradiction. I really don't.

I practice magick because I have found techniques that work. I could give you theory on how they work (within the context of a Universe that can be explained by science, in so far as the physical facts of our universe can be explained by science. To put it briefly, belief is a fact. People believe. Manipulating one's own belief can cause certain results to happen. Very reliably. Just as manipulating certain combinations of chemicals in a child's chemistry set can cause certain results to happen, equally reliably.

We do not perceive the world directly. We perceive it through our sense organs and through our brains. Belief conditions the world we experience.

So, due to their beliefs, some who have commented here perceive the 'supernatural' and some (like yourself), equally due to your belief, do not.

Have you read any chaos magick theory? Some of it is utter garbage (they take sound basic concepts and develop them too far). It's based on the principle that a butterfly stamping it's foot in one place can start a complex line of causation that ends in a hurricane. Effective magick is like that butterfly stamping its foot.

Which is not to say that I believe in the supernatural. I don't. I remain a cynic. But possibly there are things in Heaven and Earth undreamed of in your philosophy.

[velvetfox.livejournal.com]

They asked me "do you beleive in magic?" and I answered "do you beleive in buses?". They laughed. And I laughed with them.

And I prayed to my god. The one who visited me when I was 7. He is the good, and the bad.

I can fly. I can hear your thoughts. If I Will, I can Know. I can Do. I can make things happen which have already happened. And I can be bowled over by the powers that be, when I get things wrong.

I lead a Druid Order. I've been High Priestess of a Wiccan Coven. I've been handfasted, filmed by the BBC, at Avebury.

I've lived.

Live. Do what you want, to live. Only by following that, will you become yourself. Be yourself.