Quickly before I go home. I used to believe unshakably that there was a God in the catholic tradition and that he loved me and I loved him. Shortly after my confirmation I realised I was simply going through the actions and I didn't believe he was there, or if he was he wasn't listening. A short while after that I began to feel that I was sensitive to certain events in the world that were above and beyond the natural physical world. Shortly after that I began to believe that something was following me in a supernatural fashion and that I was causing me problems in a variety of malicious ways. Shortly after *that* I had a mental breakdown. When I had finally pieced my life back together I felt nothing. All of these experiences add to my cynicism and, like you, I have a part of me that wishes to be convinced if only for peace of mind. Being a conviced atheist is a much harder task than a convinced believer.
Faith is a complicated matter. I am atheist in demeanor, agnostic in nature. I feel I have experience in the supernatural if such a thing exists, but I am yet to be convinced. The importance of sacred places has always impressed me but they have never made me believe anymore than I did at the time.
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Date: 2003-09-12 10:07 am (UTC)Faith is a complicated matter. I am atheist in demeanor, agnostic in nature. I feel I have experience in the supernatural if such a thing exists, but I am yet to be convinced. The importance of sacred places has always impressed me but they have never made me believe anymore than I did at the time.
See you tomorrow.