If smarties have the answer, why aren't they telling?

Answers are hard things to come by, ask any politician about scandal X (involving a fruitbat, three litres of liquidised cheese and a Harley Davidson) and they'll happily talk about the failed policies of the other party. Ask your boss about a raise and they'll take a firm interest in the football results of last night. It all goes back, if you ever asked your parents where babies come from they probably told you something about a stork or a cabbage patch, which may have led you to believe that all children were actually manufactured in South Korea under exclusive license.

Throughout history people have used religion, alchemy, casting bones, the weather, the movements of planets far far away, small pieces of putty, nicely painted cards and even economics, rational thought and reasoning in order to provide answers. More often than not, as the way of these predictive things goes, they're wrong. I mean take a look at the weather, how often does the Beeb weather service tell you it's going to snow/hail/shine/rain polar bears? All the time. And all too often you're left standing in your back garden holding a giant net waiting for ursine precipitation to no avail.

You can't trust anyones predictions these days. But the answers are out there, I have seen the light - I as a sugar based lifeform have now realised the true way of answering all lifes ills¹, sugar! I have seen it before with the amazing predictive nature and herding instincts of smarties, a pack I'd bought previously formed interesting shapes and worryingly asymmetrical colour schemes. Surely they were trying to tell me something? Trying to communicate with me and give me answers to the core of lifes secrets. I was still wondering that when I ate the last one.

However today I have purchased an official mystic pack of sugar - I know that's what it is, because it says so on the packet² and now it is here today to answer all your questions!

If you're still with me that is, lets just try and wake a few people up...

The mystic pack of sugar will answer all your questions!

Just ask me a question and the mystic sugar will answer in it's own unfathomable way, and I being the guru of sugar shall fathom it's unknowable knowledge.

Answers available as long as the sugar survives³.

Update:
All the sugar is now eaten. The time of dextrose guruification has passed.



1 To within 50% tolerance.
2 In biro.
3 Disclaimer: Some answers may be obfuscated through the sugar screaming for help.

Like a dumpling on your ruler

With the last of the mystic sugar gone and the afternoons high kicked started from a chocolate pud at the company restaurant I feel compelled to find out another of lifes mysteries; namely does anyone else actually like raisins?

Reason is that said chocolate pud at lunch was a bread and butter pudding with chocolate chips instead of raisins, delish.

So...

[Poll #976606]