Yay!

'Flutch' and 'Job' have been added :)

http://www.gamerjargon.com/

Monday morning

And yes, monday it is, by jingo, despite the extra hour on sunday, or maybe because of it I'm feeling rather peachy; although this is more likely 'cos I have a 3 day week and a great night out on wednesday to look forward to.

Lessie; summarisation of my weekend.

Blarrg, Bleh, Wha? Hmmm, Mmmmkay, meep? Neat, Whoooo! Blargle, mnarg, yawn, whoo! yay! eeep! hmmm, ahhhh, zzzzz.

So thats all perfectly clear :)

Argh! My first Christmas rant - and time machines

It is 8:33 Monday 29th October 2001.
I am sitting in my office
It is approximately 57 days, 15 hours and 27 minutes before Christmas.

THEN, why why why why have I just heard a thrice bedamned 'jingle bells' tune playing in the office.

Marketing, it's the evil of the world and they start earlier every year!

Currently Christmas is advancing, every year, similar to continental drift, at the alarming rate of approximately 1 week per year further away from Christmas itself.
Currently it is approximately 8 weeks prior to christmas itself. Assuming a similar proportional movement of Christmas drift over the next few years;
By 2009, Chrismas decorations will be sold at the end of August
By 2041, Festive santas will be walking the streets in January collecting for the Christmas to come.
And by October 2100 Pre-buy bargains for the yuletide of 2102 will be available in shops worldwide.

And there it is.

It is my firm belief that Chrismas factored in with the newly discovered mystical physics prospects of the pool table will be crucial in creating a time machine.

Since for pool tables, physics - as we know it - does not exist.
You just know what I mean, take a shot - any shot - or just watch me playing pool and you will observe that for pool tables physics is something that happened to other people.

My current plan for a time machine is to suspend two pool tables in Christmas, rotating around each other. This will then allow you to travel back in time to any previous Christmas in history.

Makes sense to me.

Bweeeep!

The boomtown rats have invaded my brain and won't go away!

Save yourself

Well theres only one way to shift the boomtown rats, it's painful but it has to be done...

sing along, you know the words...

Postman Pat, Postman Pat, Postman Pat and his black and white cat,
Early in the morning,
Just as day is dawning,
He picks up all the post bags in his van.

http://www.postmanpat.org.uk/ - Be afraid, be very afraid

Woooooo! (Bill and ted type voice)

Wow, I just like totally blanked there dude, like my whole mind went utterly zip for around 5 seconds, nothing there at all.

Quite freaky, also quite fun.

Now something triggered this, I have to find out.

On the good side it's got rid of postman pat although "fraggle rock" keeps threatening to start playing.

Ack, shouldn't of mentioned it... I can hear the words in my mind ~dance your cares away...~ they won't go away ~worries for another day~ help help, the fraggles have my brain ~down at fraggle rock~ and they won't let it goooooooo!

eep

I have the final solution...

In the world before Monkey primal chaos reigned, and the Heavens sought order. But the phoenix can only fly when its feathers are grown. The four worlds formed again, and yet again as endless aeons wheeled and passed. Time and pure essences of Heaven, the moisture of the earth, the powers of the sun and the moon, all worked on a certain rock that was as old as creation, and it became magically fertile. That first egg was called Thought. The Father Buddha said, "With our thoughts we make the world."Elemental forces caused the egg to hatch. From it came a stone monkey. The nature of Monkey was... irrepressible. MMOOOOOONNNNNKKKKKKEEEEEEEYYYY!!!!!!!

Sing it, you know you want to...

Born from an egg on a mountain top,
Monkey is funky that ever popped,
He knew every magic trick under the sun,
Tease the Gods and everyone can have some fun.
Monkey magic, Monkey magic,
Monkey magic, Monkey magic,
Monkey magic, Monkey magic ooh!

Bounce!

Bounce! Bounce! Bounce! Bounce! Bounce! Bounce! Bounce! Bounce! Bounce! Bounce! Bounce! Bounce! Bounce! Bounce! Bounce! Bounce! Bounce! Bounce! Bounce! Bounce! Bounce! Bounce! Bounce! Bounce! Bounce! Bounce! Bounce! Bounce! Bounce! Bounce! Bounce! Bounce! Bounce! Bounce! Bounce! Bounce! Bounce! Bounce! Bounce! Bounce! Bounce! Bounce! Bounce! Bounce! Bounce! Bounce! Bounce! Bounce! Bounce! Bounce! Bounce! Bounce! Bounce! Bounce! Bounce! Bounce! Bounce! Bounce! Bounce! Bounce! Bounce! Bounce! Bounce! Bounce! Bounce! Bounce! Bounce! Bounce! Bounce! Bounce! Bounce! Bounce! Bounce! Bounce! Bounce! Bounce! Bounce! Bounce! Bounce! Bounce! Bounce!

Ahem

Got a postcard

Weeee!

(To the cancan music)

Hey! Let's get some ice cream!
How 'bout this one? Pistachio Almond Fruit Fudge Butterscotch Delight.

Ingredients:
Zinc trisodium, aspartate,
Sorbitol and bisulfate,
Oxide beta carotene,
Lactic acid, carob bean.

Grade A milk emulsified
Malto-dextrin alkalide
Silicon deoxylite
Lots of sugar,

Hey, all right!

Calcified synthetic salt
Artificial barley malt
Glycerine and aspartate
Folic acid,
That tastes great!

Monosodium glutamate
Dehydrated calceinate
Soybean oil, butter fat
Caramel center,

I'll eat that!

Hooray for sugar, 'cause we love it
Chocolate chips; we want more of it
Cakes and ice cream; watch us shove it
Down our throats real fast.

Here's a candy bar, you tried it?
Hey, let's all see what's inside it.

Gelatinized triglycerin
Phosphate, soybean, lecithin
Deoxylite tri-silicon
Dipped in chocolate,

Bring it on!

Citrus enzymes, BHT
Powdered milk,
Sounds good to me!
Baking soda, carob gum
Carbohydrates,

Yummy yum!

Monosodium glutamate
Zinc disodium algenate,
Whole grain flour, yeast and fat

Time to eat it; I'll do that

We like sweets a lot
But they make your insides rot
So remember it's your body
And the only one you've got.