Ohhhh mama, righty, indeedy and othersuch phrases.
That was one deep introspective walk to work, got a whole lot of thoughts in my head I have to dump to paper, metaphorically speaking, before I lose them, knowledge comes and goes but feelings are what you have to catch.
Some explanation possibly at this point, this is about philosphy, belief and understanding, mine to be exact, since I'm typing here - and if you're reading this you have your own keyboard so you can commit you own thoughts to the world, media or whatever.
Anyhow, stay with train of thought, don't think about steam engines, stay focused.
Right, yes, belief.
Because I do believe.
Which some people might not believe, given what they know of me, me being a cynic, a sceptic, a "unbeliever".
This isn't to say I don't believe in some things.
Tangeable things, insofarasmuch as these things can be seen, touched, heard and so forth, all electrical signals to our brains after all, and we can wildly philosphise about where these are coming from all we want but they are there otherwise I wouldn't be doing that, and I guess I have a shred of 'faith' at this point that the reality I perceive in itself *is* what exists rather than me being some floating brain in a jar somewhere or something. Maybe you know better, but from that shred of 'faith' everything I 'believe' stems. So I do have faith in something after all, which actually at this point I find somewhat surprising, surprising in that I'd never realised this before.
Thats what these brain dumps are useful for I find, you discover something about yourself when you write like this, free-thinking or expression through just feelings.
Anyway, I digress.
So I was saying that I was a cynic; I don't believe in ghosts, spirits, or to the more common extent of the word a soul, I don't believe in an afterlife, I don't believe in UFO's (although I find the concept probable), I don't believe, basically, in a hell of a lot of things.
Is this a bad thing? That is for you to judge, perceptions of outlooks are a highly individual thing, and these are mine.
So what do I believe?
Nothing essentially.
Nothing beyond what I see, taste, hear and touch.
Really free thinking huh? Imagninative and acceptive? Right.
Nope, I don't believe in these intangeable things because of my inherant cynical nature doesn't want me to, part of my persona doesn't want me deluding myself.
I don't want to believe, I want to know.
So yes, I'm one of those annoying people who when asked "Do you believe in God" will answer something like "I will when I shake him by the hand.".
So what do I believe in? What do I believe is important.
Again, I say, I don't believe, I know, which sounds a bit arrogant really, but it's not meant to be taken in that context, what I am essentially saying is my 'belief', nae understanding of life is based on the experiences and things in life that I have had and that I have seen and touched. First hand. Books, other peoples experiences can't figure into this - ideas may flow in but until I "know" I can't accept it as part of my paradigm.
So ok, Mr. Wierdo, what do you "know".
I know about feelings.
Yipee skip, wahoo and what a revalation huh? Don't come to me for deep soul searching philosphies, because you're not going to get them, well, not at the moment anyway - this is all about knowing stuff.
Yeah yeah, we know. Hmmm, talking to myself here at this point - I'll try not to think about this too much and just carry on.
Anyway, feelings. Yep, feelings, emotions, pain, hate, hurt, love, loss, happiness, sadness.
My conclusion to the way of the world is that emotion is the crux of existance.
It fires everything we do - it is a rare rare individual who can live without them and, should I meet such a person I would feel very very sorry for them, for to me they would be dead.
So what about emotions?
Emotions have fired every single shred of human history from the dawn of time - knowledge teaches us, but emotions fire the spirit and make us search for knowledge. Wars are governed by hatred, fear and paranoia.
Emotion, a development to a higher level than basic instinct ("See fire, feel fear") that is programmed into us by a complex circus of genes, sugars, carbons and whatever else bubbles inside us; emotion is what drives this spinning dirtball we're standing on.
I've come to a name for my pain, my hope, my likes and hates; "Socio-emotive". I like it because it describes as best I can in two words what I 'know', that plus I made it up (I think), which makes me feel good, which is sort of the crux of Socio-emotivism in itself.
Hedonism. Thats another way to describe it. But that word is far too often associated with the more, uh, base elements of feeling and only for oneself. Being a socio-emotive is more about the world.
We don't communicate with information, data. We communicate with feelings. Feelings drive our responses.
Thats what I 'know'.
I'm really rambling here, so I'm going to break it down like a formula, and this is really blunt.
I feel. I have emotion. This I know.
Others feel, others have emotion. This I know and I have 'felt'.
I can feel emotion. Therefore others can feel emotion.
The worlds population can feel emotions of the others on this planet.
I am a part of that population. I am part of the collective feeling on this planet.
I want to drive the emotions I enjoy into this collective.
Thats basically the summary of my whole philosphy of life, I want to feel good, I've tried a whole range of emotions, I've tried depression, self pity and self loathing - they drag you down, they hold you like a drowning kiss and you never think you're coming out. You feel alone, unwanted and very very small.
I don't like depression, even if I have to still deal with it.
Happiness, now, there is an emotion I like, and others too as far as I can see "like" being happy. And when I say "like" here I mean it is their preferred state of emotion.
So I like being happy, and the rest of the world likes being happy.
Excellent, we have an understanding already.
Me and the worlds population that is.
Now here comes the science bit, I know that my emotion is reflected in others; my being happy, giving sympathy and support and suchlike is condusive to a happier world. A world I would like to be in.
So, I try to be happy. Not happy 24/7, that would burn me out or send me to a sugar rehab clinic, I try to be happy when I'm with others (The "socio" bit) and then feed my happiness and good feelings to those others.
So basically I try and make everyone happy
And thats about it. I like being happy, I like being around happy people, so I'm going to do my darnest to make sure that everyone is in that state of feeling I know I enjoy.
So what about death? We die. We all die.
No afterlife?
Not for me. No rebirth, no recycle, no reformatting and reprogramming.
I am going to die. I am going to end. There will be nothing more of me.
Except memories, but more importantly that memories, feelings.
When I die, I leave feeling behind, I leave the emotions I have swept out into the world and given.
That is my legacy. The feelings and emotions that have merged like raindrops into the storm of life.
But the drops are there, they, like the chaos effect, will make their mark.
So thats what I look forward to for death, I want to make sure that I leave a collective good feeling in the world. And until then, I want to make sure that I make the world happy, because dammit - if nothing else I like being happy! So in that sense it's rather selfish! But what the hey, it's my belief here.
So, you go believing whatever you want, I don't mind, that is your philosphy, and if there is anything intangeable in your belief system then I salute you, I salute you for being able to go further than I can with my trust of existance, I can't believe in something I can't hold, see or touch. So I deal with what I know. My philosphy is fundamentally based on what tangeably I 'know'. And I am secure in this. I don't see flaws, problems or 'what ifs...' in it. It is to me, solid, and a solid 'belief' system is important to me as having gravity hold me on the planets surface.
So, there you go, thats me. I'm not sure exactly why I dumped this, other than until I write something down I don't understand exactly what I mean. I thrash things out in my mind as I write.
Why have I posted it here? I am a very private person, my philosphy is the basis of this too, I keep feelings in me, feelings I don't want the world to share if at all possible, if I'm unhappy, I'll try and be alone and not share these feelings. The world doesn't need another sob story. The world needs happy thoughts. And thats what I'm trying to provide.
So in a way I think this is a justification of myself to the planet in general.
And a explanation that I feel that life doesn't need to be lived for the intangeable, it can be lived for what you know.
Anyway, as I believe some people often say "Have a nice day"
And be happy :)
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