Olympic Opening Ceremonies

[robinbloke]

I've been pondering what the Olympic opening ceremony should be after madwitch posted about the opening ceremony.

Currently my best suggestion is that Brian Blessed, dressed as prince Vultan swoops down from a blimp wearing a wingsuit screaming "DIIIIIIIIIIVEEEE" snatches Excalibur from the hand of a glowing woman standing in a pond and zooms over to light the Olympic torch with it as it fzzzzt's a-la-lightsabre.

At that point everything should explode.

Any better suggestions?

Comments

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

As each competing nation enters the stadium, a group of actors and dancers perform a short vignette about how the British invaded and conquered that particular country.

[robinbloke.livejournal.com]

I can't see that ending well....

[belak-krin.livejournal.com]

Exactly as depicted above, except that when Brian yells DIIIIIIIIIVEEEE, its the Queen who leaps out in a winged suit to fetch the sword

[robinbloke.livejournal.com]

Excellent twist! I approve :)

[sherbetsaucers.livejournal.com]

Exactly as above, except get rid of everythign and just have one long cue for three windows, and the torch runner pushes in, at which point an old lady tuts him (of her) into shamefully going to the back and waiting her (or his) turn.

[robinbloke.livejournal.com]

The granny then sprints past the gate, pokes Boris in the gut with her umbrella and shouts "FRRREEEEDOOOOMMM!!!!"

[simonsatori.livejournal.com]

I love your idea... the only problem is that it is too good and no one will care about watching the boring weeks of energetic folk in lyric doing sport-stuff afterwards!

[sunflowerinrain.livejournal.com]

Brian Blessed swooping down from a blimp would certainly set off the "explode" part.

Where are those missiles pointing, by the way? I suspect that certain politicians up top may be drooling over the possibility of an accident wiping out a large chunk of that troublesome north. Not the Lake District, of course, because one's mates have holiday homes there.

[feanelwa.livejournal.com]

I'm pretty sure the range of anti-aircraft missiles is not that far.

[sunflowerinrain.livejournal.com]

I think it's more than some of them can count up to, and their grasp of geography may not be up to the measurement either.

[texassky.livejournal.com]

Wait, back up. You're pointing anti-aircraft missles at Brian Blessed in a blimp?

[texassky.livejournal.com]

Since all opening ceremonies include some kind of well choreographed dance, I recommend you go with your plan, adding the suggestion about the queen, and put your dancers in Arthurian costuming on stick horses with coconuts while playing the Monty Python theme.

[karohemd.livejournal.com]

I like The Daily Mash's suggestion.