(no subject)

[robinbloke]

My starter for ten, please? First question.

Comments

[civi.livejournal.com]

What number am I thinking of?

[robinbloke.livejournal.com]

Sixty Nine.

[civi.livejournal.com]

Excellent!
*Does air guitar*

[briggsy.livejournal.com]

The Battle For Klendathu was televised from the battlefield. What happened to the reporter and cameraman during this live report?

[robinbloke.livejournal.com]

The network is sad to report the reporter was the subject of a prank by another network, despite reports of both the reporter and the cameraman being horribly killed on TV.
This was an unintended showing from our other program "Massacre at Kentaris" which was accidentally show.
The network would like to make it clear the reporter, his cameraman and all the people seen sliced in two are all well and all stunts were performed by trained proffessionals.

[davefish.livejournal.com]

Why would I want one of those?

[robinbloke.livejournal.com]

Because it is shiney/chocolate/sugary/comes with coupons/has green stamps/reduces fat fast/is on two-for-one-offer/makes you more attractive to women.

Plus it's in a range of exciting colours.

[davefish.livejournal.com]

Sorry, its because its covered in glow in the dark dinosaurs.

[robinbloke.livejournal.com]

Damn, bonus question blown!

[http://users.livejournal.com/_stormknight_/]

(imspired by the first question)
When did the Mongols rule China?

[robinbloke.livejournal.com]

Dude! Noone can rule China, do you know how difficult it is to take all the asian places in Risk? You're much better off going for Africa or South America and the Mongols ruled this ages ago. Even now they're working their way towards Columbia using secret smuggling via Mongolian restaurants.

[davefish.livejournal.com]

You'd fall victim to one of the classic blunders; the most famous:
"Never get involved in a land war in Asia."

[robinbloke.livejournal.com]

But only slightly less well-known is this: never go in against a Cliche when death is on the line!

[dreamfracture.livejournal.com]

The other famous tactical blunders being "Don't march on Moscow" and "Never try to occupy any country with a name ending in -stan"

[whiskeylover.livejournal.com]

Were you referring to Iraqistan or Iranistan...?

[robinbloke.livejournal.com]

Most people believe this to be Einstein.

This is in fact, totally incorrect.

Einstein was the last person to postulate the theory of Relativity.
Relativity states that (amoungst other things) for all observers the speed of light must remain the same, and that the theory of relativity must remain the same. Hence the last person to mention relativity is the person who has actually come up with relativity.

Which would make it you, until someone else mentions it. Ooops, sorry.

[keris.livejournal.com]

I thought the Animaniacs did?

[robinbloke.livejournal.com]

If only he'd have bought some cookies...

[keris.livejournal.com]

But then he'd never have got the amazing pocket fisherman!

[robinbloke.livejournal.com]

A limited time offer!

[keris.livejournal.com]

What I really want is unexplained mysteries of cheese.
Actually no I really want to go home, I appear to have lost half of my head. Oops.

[robinbloke.livejournal.com]

I want a spin on the wheel of morality!

[keris.livejournal.com]

wouldn't you worry about it hitting bankrupt?

[robinbloke.livejournal.com]

If you don't spin the wheel you don't get your moral of the day!

[keris.livejournal.com]

wheel of morality turn turn turn, tell us the lesson we must learn!

It's my personal favourite:

[robinbloke.livejournal.com]

Elvis lives on in our hearts, in his music and in a trailer park outside Milwaukee.

[robinbloke.livejournal.com]

I think you just mentioned this because you wanted it to be you again... ;)

[duncanneko.livejournal.com]

What is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?

[robinbloke.livejournal.com]

24 miles per hour

[dreamfracture.livejournal.com]

How will the world end?

[robinbloke.livejournal.com]

When (supreme diety) decides to change the channel.

Quick, look interesting!

[dreamfracture.livejournal.com]

I'll be fine, my life is the porn channel.

[belaroo.livejournal.com]

Where do babies come from?

[robinbloke.livejournal.com]

Little known, but true, is that your common urban baby actually comes from Babylonia.
Smuggled in by spice weasels on overnight cranes they land fresh and ready to scream your house down after their three years in wailing, wetting and tantrum college. Only the very best pass.

May yours be a very quiet A student.

[belaroo.livejournal.com]

I shall watch out for the cranes...

[gerald_duck]

How old is Jane Belson?

[robinbloke.livejournal.com]

"Jane Belson"

Current earths population (As of 9:17 GMT 07 Sept 2006 - Estimated)
6654578400 humans

Estimated 55% female population ratio
3660018120 females

Jane is a very popular female first name, ranking 77 out of 4275 for females of all ages in the 1990 U.S.

Taking this as a blanket estimate as 1/77th for the world, because I'm short on time this gives us:
47532702 Janes

Belson is a very uncommon name, I couldn't even find any statistics for it. So lets pluck a number say... 1/500,000 for it.

95 Jane Belsons in the world, as a estimate. (+6654578305-94)

Which one?

[gerald_duck]

Widow of the late, great, Douglas Adams.

[the-mendicant.livejournal.com]

Why are colours?

(Alex asked me that when he was 3 - so explain it to a three year old please, without saying cus God made them that way)

[robinbloke.livejournal.com]

Damn that's a good question, even more so for a three year old.

Um.

"Colours are because things reflect." (Simplest explaination!)
(whisper)
"Dogs can't see colours." (To distract him from a follow up question!)

This is actually fairly interesting, if brief.

[sarah-mum.livejournal.com]

Why is 'spleeen' funny?

Are you paintballing for the boy's birthday? I will if you will. Dare ya! etc.

[robinbloke.livejournal.com]

Oh I'm definately going, paintball is a laff :)

[robinbloke.livejournal.com]

Oh and spleen is just an excellent word and the most amusingly named body organ.