Following on...

[robinbloke]

...what are the full 'laws of hollywood'.

By this I mean in the cheesiest, most predictable hollywood flick what do you *know* will happen?

So far I have...

The Laws of Hollywood aka the 'Laws of Spielberg'

There will be a heroic rescue.
The bad guys will die.
The lead character survives, always.
The good guy gets the girl.
There will be a fight scene, the hero will win.

Comments

[sogoth.livejournal.com]

cars will always explode whenever they crash or are shot at

Even if someone reloads they will always have shot more bullets than the clip could physically hold

Wearing glasses is a great disguise that no-one will see through

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

Red Shirt.

[robinbloke.livejournal.com]

If they even need to reload that is :)

[sogoth.livejournal.com]

That's what I meant by the "Even if they need to reload" part :)

[sogoth.livejournal.com]

that only works in star trek unfortunately.

[ev1ldonut.livejournal.com]

You just need to watch "Last Action Hero"!

Some are things like:

1> Hero will never run out of ammunition, unless it gives opportunity for some even more dramatic bravery
2> Any wound, no matter how messy, will be no more than an inconvenient flesh wound that will either heal completely, or leave a distinguished rugged-looking-hero-scar
3> The bad guy will always come this *pinches fingers together really closely* close to killing the hero
4> A hero may be killed only if they are not the sole hero and it gives some dramatic motivation for another hero to undertake a quest of revenge and justice

etc...

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

Yeah, but Red Shirt is a generic term - it's showing someone a picture of your best gal back home and telling them you're to be married. It's admitting that you've only got three days of your tour left before you go home. It's being the comedy sidekick.
They're all redshirts, in their hearts.

[belak-krin.livejournal.com]

any vehicle will explode... or building for that matter, as though it were filled with barrels of petrol. In addition the only oil drums that don't contain Petrol are filled with toxic waste or acid... these may also explode

[robinbloke.livejournal.com]

Oh yes, never ever say you're three days from retirement :)

[azekeil.livejournal.com]

There will be a cheesy one-line attempt at humor (sic) that is set up and one can see coming a mile off with neon lights on.

[belak-krin.livejournal.com]

"just got two more days 'till retirement..."

Though i think maybe red shirts are less important than that - they're kinda one dimensional, no back story, no history or motivation. If they're lucky they get a name.. they're the uniform officer who gets told to 'check the perimeter' or the guard who goes to 'get a coffee' and doesn't come back.

People who are going to retire/have pictures of kids/are getting married tend to know the hero, giving him ample opportunity to scream
"Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!" when they are mown down

[puddingcat.livejournal.com]

Where the plot can be summarised as "Is it a conspiracy, or is the hero(ine) going mad?", it will *always* be a conspiracy.

Big companies and government officials will always be corrupt.

[robinbloke.livejournal.com]

Where the plot can be summarised as "Is it a conspiracy, or is the hero(ine) going mad?", it will *always* be a conspiracy.

Good one :)

[crocodilewings.livejournal.com]

Anyone with a scar going across the side of their face is a good guy. Anyone with a scar going accross their eye is evil!

Saying "but it's only one man!" will be a sentence of death for most, if not all, of your henchmen.

[vyvyan.livejournal.com]

Children are not allowed to die.
If there is an English male character, he will be evil or stupid or both.
Mystical predictions or prophecies always come true.
If the female lead wears glasses (e.g. she is a ScientistTM), she will miraculously stop needing them by the end of the film.

[vyvyan.livejournal.com]

Oh, I forgot:
If a main character does something cowardly/treacherous and later regrets it, they will be able to redeem themselves only by dying heroically - reprehensible acts by non-evil main characters have to be punished by death!

[robinbloke.livejournal.com]

I like the glasses one, so true!

[ex-lark-asc.livejournal.com]

Anyone independent-minded or in the least bit bad-tempered just wants to be loved, and they will have a Growth Experience and become a good little doormatcitizen who lets the other characters take the piss out of them by the end of the film.

[sortellisfangrl.livejournal.com]

Doh! Uhhh.. THAT'S TOO TRUE!

[feanelwa.livejournal.com]

Female leads always end up kissing male leads, even if they have a complete personality clash or started off gay. Unless it's a gay film.

[gerald_duck]

Any two vehicles picked at random, if involved in a car chase, will turn out to have identical top speeds.

[sortelli.livejournal.com]

The heroes can do anything they wish with a total pass from the script, even if it results in more death, mayhem and misery than the actions of the villains.

Like, say, setting violent dinosaurs loose and stealing all the ammunition in Jurrasic Park 2.