Interaction on your introspection
Jun. 23rd, 2005 09:41 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
robinblokeMy brain has been "off" for a while; well I say "off" but obviously it’s still ticking over or I wouldn't be writing this; well, unless of course I've been replaced by some kind of radio transmitting robo-bloke controlled by hamster constructed implants through an orbiting mars bar.
But that distinct possibility aside, my brain has been "off". Allow me to explain, well, again, I say allow but frankly if you're reading this in the first place you should know everything you're likely to get, weird bibbling and ranting and the occasionally penguin reference1.
Yes, erm, "off". Right. The part of my brain I enjoy the most has been off, is more what I mean; actually this random burble about the mere fact that it's off has put it on2, but that notwithstanding my random bibble factor has been distinctly down.
I like that3 side of myself, the fact that there is this capacity for that which is my biomass to produce seemingly random, spontaneous and weird drivel and other such stuff. It's usually when this sort of part of me is "on" that I feel most creative. I like being creative.
It's an individuality thing perhaps, that the world around is so big and huge and ooo blimey that sometimes I want to inject something of the chaos that bubbles under the surface of my thoughts into it all to try and show it what I have and share it.
Or something like that, but the bubbles have been quiet lately. I suspect this is probably because of work, I've been very busy lately and actually even enjoying it4
Anyway, I need to be creative; I need to produce... stuff... I have plenty of projects I've started and then fizzled out because my interest or the moment is gone.
Sometimes I think I could write the start to a thousand great stories, but never finish one.
This sort of begs the question, what do I live for in the existence and eventually being nothing more than worm food and long carbon chains in the dim and distant future.
Tasty.
I think…. creativity; in many forms, thinking, feeling, dancing, writing… too many ways to express, it’s more than just making something, it’s feeling that spark light me up.
Touching people. Yes yes, Benny Hill sniggering and snorting aside, making people feel special, especially those I care for or my friends, making them either find something they didn’t expect in the world or that look in their eyes that… isn’t explainable.
And being myself. Sometimes the world needs to go away frankly, and shutting it all off, all light except for a single room. Reducing the world down to a manageable size and capacity that I can deal with and denying all the rest. Naturally this room needs broadband ;)
There are other things I suspect, but these are the main ones. Begs the question for me I suppose, what do you look for in life, what are the moments that make it… not worthwhile, but special?
PS.
I forgot how much NIN makes my brain tick...
1 Penguins on TV. Who sent me that text last night? It was great! Thank you.
2 Also known as the Polly and the Kettle hypothesis.
3 Retrogressive this=that exchange. Personal note only, move along, nothing to see here.
4 This is probably illegal in some countries.
But that distinct possibility aside, my brain has been "off". Allow me to explain, well, again, I say allow but frankly if you're reading this in the first place you should know everything you're likely to get, weird bibbling and ranting and the occasionally penguin reference1.
Yes, erm, "off". Right. The part of my brain I enjoy the most has been off, is more what I mean; actually this random burble about the mere fact that it's off has put it on2, but that notwithstanding my random bibble factor has been distinctly down.
I like that3 side of myself, the fact that there is this capacity for that which is my biomass to produce seemingly random, spontaneous and weird drivel and other such stuff. It's usually when this sort of part of me is "on" that I feel most creative. I like being creative.
It's an individuality thing perhaps, that the world around is so big and huge and ooo blimey that sometimes I want to inject something of the chaos that bubbles under the surface of my thoughts into it all to try and show it what I have and share it.
Or something like that, but the bubbles have been quiet lately. I suspect this is probably because of work, I've been very busy lately and actually even enjoying it4
Anyway, I need to be creative; I need to produce... stuff... I have plenty of projects I've started and then fizzled out because my interest or the moment is gone.
Sometimes I think I could write the start to a thousand great stories, but never finish one.
This sort of begs the question, what do I live for in the existence and eventually being nothing more than worm food and long carbon chains in the dim and distant future.
Tasty.
I think…. creativity; in many forms, thinking, feeling, dancing, writing… too many ways to express, it’s more than just making something, it’s feeling that spark light me up.
Touching people. Yes yes, Benny Hill sniggering and snorting aside, making people feel special, especially those I care for or my friends, making them either find something they didn’t expect in the world or that look in their eyes that… isn’t explainable.
And being myself. Sometimes the world needs to go away frankly, and shutting it all off, all light except for a single room. Reducing the world down to a manageable size and capacity that I can deal with and denying all the rest. Naturally this room needs broadband ;)
There are other things I suspect, but these are the main ones. Begs the question for me I suppose, what do you look for in life, what are the moments that make it… not worthwhile, but special?
PS.
I forgot how much NIN makes my brain tick...
1 Penguins on TV. Who sent me that text last night? It was great! Thank you.
2 Also known as the Polly and the Kettle hypothesis.
3 Retrogressive this=that exchange. Personal note only, move along, nothing to see here.
4 This is probably illegal in some countries.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2005-06-23 09:41 am (UTC)Work is necessary and it's even better when you enjoy it, but you mustn't let yourself be assimilated! Fight the dark side!
no subject
Date: 2005-06-23 09:48 am (UTC)Warm glancing looks from people: lover, friends, family, or strangers - you know, the sort of contact that opens an ephemeral channel between their soul and yours.
Singing
Seeing and responding to moon and stars and comets and thunderstorms and trees and ocean and waterfalls and...
Cuddles
Writing, of which I don't do enough
no subject
Date: 2005-06-23 10:20 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-06-23 10:31 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-06-24 12:27 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-06-23 08:28 pm (UTC)You missed the opening scenes done Jaws style about an underwater invader though : )
no subject
Date: 2005-06-24 12:27 am (UTC)