robinbloke | Argh! My first Christmas rant

It is 8:33 Monday 29th October 2001.
I am sitting in my office
It is approximately 57 days, 15 hours and 27 minutes before Christmas.

THEN, why why why why have I just heard a thrice bedamned 'jingle bells' tune playing in the office.

Marketing, it's the evil of the world and they start earlier every year!

Currently Christmas is advancing, every year, similar to continental drift, at the alarming rate of approximately 1 week per year further away from Christmas itself.
Currently it is approximately 8 weeks prior to christmas itself. Assuming a similar proportional movement of Christmas drift over the next few years;
By 2009, Chrismas decorations will be sold at the end of August
By 2041, Festive santas will be walking the streets in January collecting for the Christmas to come.
And by October 2100 Pre-buy bargains for the yuletide of 2102 will be available in shops worldwide.

And there it is.

It is my firm belief that Chrismas factored in with the newly discovered mystical physics prospects of the pool table will be crucial in creating a time machine.

Since for pool tables, physics - as we know it - does not exist.
You just know what I mean, take a shot - any shot - or just watch me playing pool and you will observe that for pool tables physics is something that happened to other people.

My current plan for a time machine is to suspend two pool tables in Christmas, rotating around each other. This will then allow you to travel back in time to any previous Christmas in history.

Makes sense to me.