Yes... questions
Nov. 12th, 2004 02:43 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
robinblokeWell it's certainly less than it was before and I can't help wondering where it all went or if I've retreated from what I was.
Then again it's all back to that change thing again, becoming something other than I was before and my eyes opening continually opening like balloons expanding forever out into an infinity of a universe surrounding me, maybe they'll pop when the collapse at the end comes, a silence that comes crashing down around your ears and signals the end of it all.
I don't have the answers, but I have a lot of questions that keep coming back and get more interesting each time I ask them. Some of the questions are formed in words, other questions are situational, emotional or a quandary that strikes me at a moment from out of nowhere; I'll be passing a tree or I'll glance at something and a branch occurs, a choice is a question, a question you ask yourself and decide.
Crossing the grass or taking the path, subconsciously or consciously you decide when your foot makes the first fall onto the earth as you walk into the path or across the leafy blades; either way your question and answer are clear.
Now questions are one of the things to drive me, answers are useful; but too many answers bog down the whole process of asking.
I think actually that the questions we ask need to be re-evaluated each time you come to ask them and instead of asking the same question you add more detail to the query each time, reprocess your input before submitting it to the... well, to whatever you ask.
I ask myself a lot, I consider myself an authority on myself so I'm well grounded to answer my own questions in a lot of cases. Other people might not understand the importance of tapping one knee with your hand after brushing the other. They might not understand that dancing is something that is a means to an end, a end to free yourself from the shackles of thought and questions and step out and become something else, something different.
Roles. People. I've played so many. I've been a lot of people, worn a lot of masks.
Some were simple, some were webs that spread out across the world. Some were for fun, some were for security, some were because I needed to do something. All the masks are still in my cupboard of memories, some of them dog me but I am still, in the main, me1
Becoming those other people and taking on those masks is something that requires a lot more cobweb sweeping these days, its a trick I've been and past through and am trying to understand reasons for when I know them already.
Questions again; that’s the situation, asking the same question again when you already have the answer - you just want a different answer this time when you ask, and then the question becomes how many more times can you keep asking yourself the same thing before you stop asking, accept and take the next step.
The grass unbends after you carry on, the path has a footprint. They remember you passed by, but do you remember each of the steps for as long as they remain in the mud and plants that you've stepped on.
Perhaps they remember as much as you do, memory is something we give ourselves beyond instinct. Memory and training, instinct can be taught are our memories a remake of instinct for the better tomorrow or should we just go back to the trees and start scratching our arses again?
Maybe introspection works best when you have an audience in your mind to bounce off.
1 Whoever that might actually be.
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Date: 2004-11-12 02:50 pm (UTC)E.
x
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Date: 2004-11-12 02:59 pm (UTC)I think I've been mulling over identities and what they mean and who we (or rather I) are/am a lot lately, hence this.
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Date: 2004-11-12 05:48 pm (UTC)You can have mine... she's pissing me off.
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Date: 2004-11-12 06:27 pm (UTC)