![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
robinblokeThere are films you switch your brain off for, and then there is
Now Hollywood has made billions out of predictable formats, out of canned set pieces and scenes that will pander to the requirements of the TV generation.
Van Helsing serves them this on a plate with a double extra helping of chocolate flavoured familiarity.
The only way to make the film more blatent, scene by scene, would be to have large white captions appear at the start of each scene saying things like, "MAKE YOU JUMP SCENE", "FINAL CATFIGHT SCENE", "THEY KISS SCENE". Films like this, as I say, are something you can switch your brain off to but this not so much requires you to take your brain out as throw it away and not give it any kind of forwarding address.
Okay, so the costumes are pretty nice and the CGI is almost convincing in parts; the actors and actresses lap up their cardboard cut out roles (grim hero, last in the line hard bitten heronine, evil guy, evil woman, angst ridden monster, etc). But given the sheer number of really, really dangerous creatures running around how many innocent bystanders get killed? Try and count them.
It's a hollywood trash film with steampunk overtones, which aren't too bad. Everything is obvious from almost before the opening second of the film so don't expect any surprises. If you like pretty costumes (oooo the ballroom scene) an Indiania Jones/James Bond rip off lead role and bucketloads of nice CGI then this is for you.
If you want an hour or so of your life where you require your brain to do something more than wonder "Where's the popcorn?" avoid.
Now Hollywood has made billions out of predictable formats, out of canned set pieces and scenes that will pander to the requirements of the TV generation.
Van Helsing serves them this on a plate with a double extra helping of chocolate flavoured familiarity.
The only way to make the film more blatent, scene by scene, would be to have large white captions appear at the start of each scene saying things like, "MAKE YOU JUMP SCENE", "FINAL CATFIGHT SCENE", "THEY KISS SCENE". Films like this, as I say, are something you can switch your brain off to but this not so much requires you to take your brain out as throw it away and not give it any kind of forwarding address.
Okay, so the costumes are pretty nice and the CGI is almost convincing in parts; the actors and actresses lap up their cardboard cut out roles (grim hero, last in the line hard bitten heronine, evil guy, evil woman, angst ridden monster, etc). But given the sheer number of really, really dangerous creatures running around how many innocent bystanders get killed? Try and count them.
It's a hollywood trash film with steampunk overtones, which aren't too bad. Everything is obvious from almost before the opening second of the film so don't expect any surprises. If you like pretty costumes (oooo the ballroom scene) an Indiania Jones/James Bond rip off lead role and bucketloads of nice CGI then this is for you.
If you want an hour or so of your life where you require your brain to do something more than wonder "Where's the popcorn?" avoid.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2004-05-18 09:35 am (UTC)So what if its corny, it loads of sexy gothy guys wondering about and some nice little cameo roles too (I loved the village undertaker).
I do have to wonder how monsters with no obvious sexual organs, manage to create so many babies though.
Finally, Cruelty to cows say I!
no subject
Date: 2004-05-18 12:13 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-05-18 03:52 pm (UTC)