Now co-starring in the sitcom of life

[robinbloke]

Right, that's it; Monday shall be a bane to me no longer. By the power officially vested in me I officially rename today 'Blargday' because frankly that's how everyone feels after the weekend. I may also rename Friday to 'Atlastday' but this will be pending the publics reaction to my first change as unrecognized leader of this country.
Real issues, that's what it's about. Vote for me and I will address all the important issues.

Business: The government will purchase the Mars corporation in whole, profits will be split 50/50 between the business and the government. In addition Marathon and Opal fruits will be changed back to their one true name. Since this country runs on sweets and beer anyway.

Energy: The national energy crisis will be solved by banning standard lightbulbs and forcing the introduction of energy saver ones instead. Anyone owning a 4x4 who doesn't have a trailer or at least a weeks worth of mud on it will be towed around their city behind it weekly.

Transport Companies over will be required to provide a subsidized bus service, in addition roving packs of entertainment llamas will be used to assist in the rush hour by standing by the side of the road and looking amusing in order to calm people down.

Crime 'Tit for tat' will be introduced; with people immediately fined whatever they stole plus 20% extra for being a git. A new national program will be added "Who's a naughty thing then?" where people are dragged to boot camp and forcibly re-educated and disciplined whilst at the same time providing prime time TV. This will remove prison crowding and provide extra funding for the BBC.

Health Beer and other alcoholic beverages will be required to carry a small percentage of certain vitamins in them, since we may as well get people healthy with the one guaranteed product that just about everyone drinks.

So, vote for me now or at least call today 'Blargday'.

Comments

[scy11a.livejournal.com]

Hear, hear. Jolly good show, old chap. You've got my vote.

[sea-cucumber.livejournal.com]

Hoorah! All hail the new leader!!! :D

[silja.livejournal.com]

If you promise that the products of the Mars cooperation will be available on the NHS, you have my vote.

[robinbloke.livejournal.com]

That plus dropping all import tax on chocolate :)

[mageboltrat.livejournal.com]

Noted, your Calander has now been updated.

[robinbloke.livejournal.com]

Heh, thanks :)

Mmm, Opal Fruits

[wyrdness.livejournal.com]

You have my vote.

Re: Mmm, Opal Fruits

[scy11a.livejournal.com]

...made to make you mouth water, perchance?

Re: Mmm, Opal Fruits

[wyrdness.livejournal.com]

Yes :) For some reason they just seemed better at doing that than Starburst. Maybe the name just isn't associated with chewy fruitiness like Opal Fruits are.

Umm...

[k-lioness.livejournal.com]

I think I heard you say once that Marathon is Snickers... but what's Opal Fruits?

Re: Umm...

[robinbloke.livejournal.com]

They are what you would call 'Starburst'. Bah and humbug to the name change.

Re: Umm...

[k-lioness.livejournal.com]

See, I never even knew they had other names until I started reading here... so I see nothing wrong with Starburst and Snickers. I will agree with Blargday, but since I can't vote here anyway I don't suppose it makes a whole lot of difference.

[nisaba.livejournal.com]

All hail robinbloke, unrecognised leader of this land!!

I'm all for Blargday :)

[paul-sticks.livejournal.com]

I announced my intentions to run for the corridors of power at Whitby over breakfast with melston on the following party manifesto:-

(i) a 75% pay increase by statute (failing this, under the threat of being given a good telling off - just in case the Upper House fecks things up again!)
(ii) a two day working week.

Marc kindly named the Party - "The Idol Gits", so will be first in line for power, come the revolution. Still seeking a bunch of cabinet ministers and their subordinates.

If elected, we can forget Monday mornings and can spend them recovering from our hangovers, we could of course agree to change Wednesday to Atlastday by referendum.

I will vote, on one or two proviso's!

[meme-me.livejournal.com]

Well you almost have me sold, but I would in the spirit of 'blargday' like to ban all middle management speech and have any one breaking this law, hung drawn and quartered publicly (good for the ratings) There will be a minutes silence every blargday at noon in remembrance of those so cruelly slaughtered in the interest of the nation. This of course will allow every one pause for thought on how not to fall into the trap of middle management and to balance their accounts.

Or the alternative is to go for the "B" arc and just send all irritating self important useless idiots off into space. Thus making Blargday a bank holiday, the nation will be healthier, happier and more productive. Small children will sit in silence and awe as they hear how Sir Robin, rid the nation of the inane.

How does that sound?

Re: I will vote, on one or two proviso's!

[robinbloke.livejournal.com]

Sounds good to me! Managers are a bane to life itself, but since space isn't quite so viable for sending them off to yet I'd suggest sending them all to a deserted island somewhere; I'm sure some of those Atolls that the US did all those entirely harmless nuclear experiments on in the 60's will be fine now - this does run this risk of them mutating into some kind of middle management monster however - sort of managzilla... eeek!