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It's my Nan's birthday on Friday; she's currently bed bound and barely acknowledging anyone else around her, we all know that shes really just waiting - it's painful because I remember her so full of life, so busy, up up and mobile; smiling, chatting. My dad told me to 'try to remember her as she was' because it is so difficult seeing her as she is.
I'm sending her a card, since she doesn't actually need or want anything - she has piles and piles of sweets, flowers and suchlike; she never really even looks at them.
I've tried to write a small poem to remember her as she was, but I'm not sure I should put it in the card because it's so utterly different to what she is now.
So I dedicate this little piece of memory floating in netspace to her, her memory with these words.
Always smiles, laughs and warmth
Bright eyes and always busy
Time for everyone, time for chats
Quite unique, my lovely Nan.
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Date: 2003-11-19 01:19 am (UTC)Have you considered giving her a walkman with big buttons, or a small tape recorder, and making taper for her of you telling stories, reading books etc?
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Date: 2003-11-19 01:27 am (UTC)Thankyou.
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Date: 2003-11-19 01:24 am (UTC)E.
x
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Date: 2003-11-19 01:26 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-11-19 02:56 am (UTC)But enough introspection. *hugs* for you and your family. Everyone will remember her for what she gave to them, which was very precious, and nothing can take that away from you or from her. I like the tape idea. I don't know whether something like a scented pillow would be any good/allowed - they do them in Culpeppers, full of lavender or 'sweet sleep' herbs or something like that. Might work.
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Date: 2003-11-19 03:17 am (UTC)My gran was much the same before she passed away, although I was fortunate (I guess, depends on how you look at it) to not see the worst since I was living here. It's the hardest time of all though, the end... My gran at least, for all that it hurt those around her to see her as she was, was in herself quite peaceful and content. I hope your Nan is the same *hugs*
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Date: 2003-11-19 05:21 am (UTC)I visited her at the hospital the day I came home for my summer holidays last year and she died the morning after. I still firmly believe that she was waiting for me to say goodbye, even if she wasn't conscious when I saw her.
Good poem. *nods*
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Date: 2003-11-19 02:02 pm (UTC)When my grandad changed in much the same way, he still sometimes had that old sparkle - just moments really. And I think he'd have liked something like that