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Nov. 19th, 2003 08:45 am
robinbloke: (Default)
[personal profile] robinbloke

It's my Nan's birthday on Friday; she's currently bed bound and barely acknowledging anyone else around her, we all know that shes really just waiting - it's painful because I remember her so full of life, so busy, up up and mobile; smiling, chatting. My dad told me to 'try to remember her as she was' because it is so difficult seeing her as she is.
I'm sending her a card, since she doesn't actually need or want anything - she has piles and piles of sweets, flowers and suchlike; she never really even looks at them.
I've tried to write a small poem to remember her as she was, but I'm not sure I should put it in the card because it's so utterly different to what she is now.
So I dedicate this little piece of memory floating in netspace to her, her memory with these words.

Always smiles, laughs and warmth
Bright eyes and always busy
Time for everyone, time for chats
Quite unique, my lovely Nan.

Date: 2003-11-19 01:19 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] silja.livejournal.com
That is a lovely poem. I think your Nan would like the sentiments contained in it. I know a little of how you feel- my nan is 96 and failing rapidly too, though can still get out of bed at the moment. *hugs*

Have you considered giving her a walkman with big buttons, or a small tape recorder, and making taper for her of you telling stories, reading books etc?

Date: 2003-11-19 01:27 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] robinbloke.livejournal.com
The walkman or recorder she wouldn't even look at, but the tape is a lovely idea; I'll have to try and find some poems or stories she might like and record them.

Thankyou.

Date: 2003-11-19 01:24 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] duranorak.livejournal.com
~gentle hugs~ That's beautiful, and evocative in a very simple way. I'm sorry it's so hard, and I love you.

E.
x

Date: 2003-11-19 01:26 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] robinbloke.livejournal.com
Thank you *hugs* It's going to be a long day I think.

Date: 2003-11-19 02:56 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] the-lady-lily.livejournal.com
Oh, I'm sorry. My adopted aunt did the same, except I was fourteen at the time and never really told just what the situation was, and I would never have known if my mother hadn't sat me down when I broke and told me that she had also broken - the details of the end came incidentally, but I would never have known, it's not something you tell a mood-swinging teenager. I still get guilt for not being a better teenager.

But enough introspection. *hugs* for you and your family. Everyone will remember her for what she gave to them, which was very precious, and nothing can take that away from you or from her. I like the tape idea. I don't know whether something like a scented pillow would be any good/allowed - they do them in Culpeppers, full of lavender or 'sweet sleep' herbs or something like that. Might work.

Date: 2003-11-19 03:17 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] nisaba.livejournal.com
Your poem is beautiful.

My gran was much the same before she passed away, although I was fortunate (I guess, depends on how you look at it) to not see the worst since I was living here. It's the hardest time of all though, the end... My gran at least, for all that it hurt those around her to see her as she was, was in herself quite peaceful and content. I hope your Nan is the same *hugs*

Date: 2003-11-19 05:21 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] karohemd.livejournal.com
I was glad that my other grandmother didn't have to suffer as long as my mum's mum. It was over in a few months, from lively (as much as you can be at 89) to complete wreck after two strokes...
I visited her at the hospital the day I came home for my summer holidays last year and she died the morning after. I still firmly believe that she was waiting for me to say goodbye, even if she wasn't conscious when I saw her.

Good poem. *nods*

Date: 2003-11-19 02:02 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] faerierhona.livejournal.com
put the poem in

When my grandad changed in much the same way, he still sometimes had that old sparkle - just moments really. And I think he'd have liked something like that

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