(no subject)

[robinbloke]

1. Are you an innie or an outie?

You what?

2. Have you ever worn bell bottoms?

No! Nor flares either thank you very much.

3. Have you ever written a song?

Does depressing poetry count?

4. Can you make change for a dollar right now?

Nope, nor a quid either.

5. Have you ever been in the opposite sex's bathroom?

Aye

6. Have you ever smelled your own feet?

Not directly

7. Do you like ketchup on or beside your french fries?

My fries took out a restraining order against the ketchup

8. Can you touch your tongue to your nose?

Not unless I detach my nose

9. Have you ever been a boy/girl scout?

My career as a girl scout was sadly cut short
My career as a cub seemed to be running around causing chaos

10. Have you ever broken a mirror?

More than likely, things break.

11. Have you ever put your tongue on a frozen pole?

Why in the name of all thats wierd and wonderful would I want to do that?

12. What is your biggest pet peeve?

Stupid questions?

13. Do you slurp your drink after its gone?

It never knows.

14. Have you ever blown bubbles in your milk?

Using my milkofier 3000.

15. Would you rather eat a Big Mac or a Whopper?

Erm, ewww they're filled full of... green things

16. Have you ever gone skinny-dipping?

I was 5, I was young, mad and foolish

17. When you are at the grocery store, do you ask for paper or plastic?

I use plastic, credit cards that is.

18. True or False: You would rather eat steak than pizza.

Can't I have steak on my pizza?

19. Did you have a baby blanket?

Yes, now tragically lost, I lament it's passing...

20. Have you ever tried to cut your own hair?

My laser missed and blew a wall out, so I stopped

21. Have you ever sleepwalked?

It was the best excuse I had for raiding the fridge as a kid

22. Have you ever had a birthday party at McDonald's?

The writer of this quiz has a damn big obsession with McDonalds... no, I haven't and if I had I'd keep it to myself until one day, far in the future when my image is proudly on the front of TIME or whatever and my reputation is secure as man-being of the universe (I said far in the future) the incident will get dragged out and my career will come crashing down around my ears causing the collapse of the entire known universe.

23. Can you flip your eyelids up?

Only after cutting them off, which I'm in no hurry to do

24. Are you double jointed?

I don't answer drugs related questions.

25. If you could be any age, what would you be?

4000 years old. And obviously also being immortal would help.

26. Have you ever gotten gum stuck in your hair?

Gum sticks where it wants, it has a life of it's own and a lawyer to match.

27. Have you ever thrown up after a roller coaster ride?

Yes, but this was entirely due to the amount of alcohol I'd drunk in the pub afterwards as well.

28. What is your dream car?

7 Litre AC Cobra, blue, white stripes, with free bikini amazon babe.

30. Would you go swimming in shallow waters where, one year earlier, a shark had attacked a child?

Maybe not a year, because the sharks probably likely to be hungry again by then.

31. How many cavities have you had?

I'm running out of teeth, put it that way.

32. Have you ever eaten a dog biscuit?

Yep, tasted way better than the cat biscuit.

33. If you were in a car sinking in the lake, what would you do first, unbuckle your seat belt or open the window?

Call for my stunt man.

34. Have you ever ridden in an ambulance?

Nope, because the men in white coats said I didn't have the right forms filled in :(

35. Can you pick something up with your toes?

Socks.

36. How many remote controls do you have in your house?

At least 8.

37. Have you ever fallen asleep in school?

In one lecture, I was tired, funny that.

38. How many times have you flown in an airplane in the past year?

Just once, booo!

39. How many foreign countries have you visited?

USA, France, Germany, Denmark, Canada, Australia, Hong Kong... erm, probably it.

40. If you were out of shape, would you complete a triathlon if you were somehow guaranteed to win a big, gaudy medal?

What shape would I be out of?

41. Would you rather be rich and unhappy or poor and happy?

Ah one of those life choice questions huh? Do I take the first on the basis you could be rich and buy enough mind altering substances to be happy or happy and drink enough meths that you didn't care that you were poor. I have cash, give me the happiness.

42. If you fell into quicksand, would you try to swim or try to float?

I'd wonder what the hell the frikking stuff was doing there.

44. Do you ask for directions when you are lost?

Sometimes, or look at a map, or just keep driving randomly.

45. Have you ever had a Mexican jumping bean?

I've had Mexican refried beans.

46. Are you more like Cinderella or Alice in Wonderland?

I refuse to pick either, It's Dorothy or nobody!

47. Would you rather have an ant farm with no ants or crayons with broken points?

Crayons are tasty.

48. Do you prefer light or dark bread?

Light bread, then you can burn it if you need dark bread to decorate instead.

49. Do you prefer scrambled or fried eggs?

I prefer to wait for the chicken to hatch, fatten and strut a bit. Then pluck and baste the little swine and roast it.

50. Have you ever been in a car that ran out of gas?

Only because my engine was stuffed and spraying fuel everywhere, doh.

51. Do you talk in your sleep?

The voices in my head like to escape and say things sometimes.

52. Would you rather shovel snow or mow the lawn?

Both are fun, snow you can hurl at people and cut grass smells nice.

53. Would you rather be bitten by a poisonous snake or constricted by a python?

So would I like to die or die? Greeeeat question.

54. Have you ever played in the rain?

And walked and sung and danced and shoe-shuffled.

55. Which do you think is more dangerous-an angry bear or a hungry white shark?

If you're in a sherman tank neither are particularly dangerous.

56. Would you climb a very high tree to save a kitten?

This is what string can be attached to arrows for.

57. Can you tell the difference between a crocodile and an alligator?

I never got the hang of those dances.

58. Do you drink Pepsi or Coke?

Neither. I deliberately took the Pepsi taste challenge so I could say I hated both.

59. What's your favorite number?

Any number with at least 10 zeros behind it in my bank balance.

60. If you were a car, would you be an SUV or sports car?

I'd be a reliant Robin.

61. Have you ever accidentally taken something from a hotel?

Accidentally on purpose?

62. Would you blow your nose at the dinner table?

Beats having it drip over the main course.

63. Have you ever slipped in the bathtub?

My activities in the bath are not for public concern.

64. Do you use regular or deodorant soap?

I use some blue stuff that gets me clean.

65. Have you ever locked yourself out of the house?

This is why you hide spare keys.

66. Would you rather make your living as a singing cowboy or as one of the Simpsons voices?

Better Simpsons than country and western.

67. If you could invite any movie star to your home for dinner, who would it be?

One who has this urge to give money away to everyone they meet.

68. Have you ever made a semi truck honk?

Have you ever seen a wood chuck chuck?

69. Which would you rather live with-a huge nose or crossed eyes?

Either, as long as they kept their room clean.

70. Would you hang out with someone your best friend didn't like?

I don't generally enjoy hanging, or any other sort of terminal life experience.

71. Would you hang out with someone your best friend liked, but you didn't like?

See above.

72. Have you ever returned a gift?

Returned, rebadged and sold under warrenty.

73. Would you give someone else a gift that had been given to you?

If they liked it.

74. If you could attend an Olympic event, what would it be?\

Freestyle ski jumping

75. How many pairs of shoes do you own?

2, I mostly own boots.

76. If your grandmother gave you a gift that you already had, would you tell her?

My grannies too nice and old to hassle her at all.

77. Do you sing in the car?

Loudly.

78. Would you rather jump into a dumpster or a vat of honey?

Do I get to choose who with?

79. What is your favorite breed of dog?

Spaniel or border collie.

80. Would you donate money to feed starving animals in the winter?

Maybe, or maybe they should all get jobs instead.

81. If you were a bicycle, would you be a stingray or a mountain bike?

STINGRAAAAAAAY STRINGRAY (DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN!)
What was the question again?

82. What is your least favorite fruit?

Killer spikey death fruit from mars.

83. What kind of fruit have you never had?

The details of my sex life are not for public disclosure.

84. If you won a $5,000 shopping spree to any store, what store would you pick?

Somewhere in America where I can spend dollars.

85. What brand sports apparel do you wear the most?

Adias, and only because it was discounted.

86. How many letters did I earn in my high school career?

26, the standard number in the English alphabet.

87. Among your friends, who could you arm wrestle and beat?

Any of them if I distracted them first.

88. If you had to choose, what branch of the military would you be in?

Big fat cigar smoking general eating caviar and waffling on about past battles division.

89. Would you ever parachute out of a plane?

I'd not want to jump without one.

90. What do you think is your best feature?

I'm me.

91. If you were to win a Grammy, what kind of music would it be for?

Demolitions.

92. What is your favorite season?

Autumn.

93. How many members do you have in your immediate family?

Four, not counting pets.

94. Which of the 5 senses is most important to you?

Common sense.

95. Would you be a more successful painter or singer?

Painter, my ability with art is nil; my singing should never be inflicted on anyone.

96. Have you ever ridden a tortoise?

You really have some problems and issues with animals you know...

97. How many years will/did you end up going to college?

erm, some, it's all an alcoholic haze.

98. Have you ever had surgery?

Yep, for a variety of aches, pains and lifts and tucks.

99. Would you rather be a professional figure skater or professional football player?

Whichever paid more so I could quit faster.

100. What do you like to collect?

I like to collect millions of pounds in my bank account, sadly so far I don't even have one yet.