Nuclear reactor blameless say lawyers

Right, I need a time machine. For as angusabranson has just pointed out 36 million years ago giant penguins roamed the earth!

Yes it's true, giant penguins were a reality, I'd seen this before at an exhibit in Colchester Zoo but I hadn't seen any of the skeletons before.
Of course, at 1.5 metres tall it isn't exactly gigantic, however I can only hope that extrapolating backwards even further to the dawn of life on earth that by then a ninety foot tall penguin existed, after all the further back we go the taller penguins get - thus it makes perfect sense¹ that the mighty Pengzilla roamed the earth; the ground shook under it's webbed flippers of destruction, fish everywhere hid behind the Tokyo building and from out of nowhere the JDF appeared to try and blast it into oblivion.

Beyond this we can stretch this theory to replacing the 'big bang' hypothesis with the 'big egg' theory - So the universe was, in fact, laid by a penguin approximately thirty light years in height with a beak that could crush galaxies.



1 If you ignore anything else reasonable.

Yesteryears confectionary

My companies canteen has started selling Caramacs joyous sugary bliss!
However they have stopped selling Curly Wurlys, dammit. Someday, somehow I will do a pimp my snack and make myself a four foot long Curley wurley that is a half foot wide, oh yes - It would only take about 24 bars all melted together...

Sugar is nostalgia; I remember the snacks of my youth, the much lamented loss of Snaps crisps with the little dragon on the front which we used to buy from Ms. Moss's shop, an eccentric ten thousand year old granny who ran a sweet shop in our village for the hell of it as much as anything else, as far as I could tell. She didn't seem to like kids at all, must have been some kind of bizarre masochistic thing.
But the door had a bell on it.

But most lamented of all, for me, are pacers this tiny little description on Wiki barely does them justice; all the consistency of Opal Fruits (Starburst mutter mutter mutter) with the delicious squishy mintness of, um, mint. The adverts were bizarre too, people wearing white cycling, driving and walking around suddenly becoming covered in green stripes to a "Whoop! Whoop! Whoop!" noise.

Ah, memories.