Poking Diabetes with a stick

Roll up, roll up; get yer horoscopes here, nice shiny new horoscopes the like o' which the world 'as never seen¹. Whoops, watch your hand there madam, that ones got a bit of a bite on 'im, nasty little bugger that. Pick yer horoscope here, we have all sizes shapes and colours catered for every occasion! Heading out for the night, well may I recommend the sardonic yet hopeful horoscope in the corner, yes I know he's growling sir but that's just his way of showing affection. Lovely little beastie once you get used to his teeth on your arm, and yes madam he does come in purple as well.

Yes indeedy folks, the world of sugar once again presents you with the opportunity to have innane drivel generated about whatever I happen to be hallucinating highly meaningful aspects of your life, times and toupee. As horoscopes are the medium of analysing the planets as they effect your daily life and social interactions so are sugarscopes the way of analysing how sugar effects your digestion, brain, fear of the number 3 and kinky relationship with maple syrup.

This offer lasts until I break² and scarf down 52.5g of sugar, glucose syrup, fruit juices from concentrate (25%) and a variety of other less savoury ingredients churned together in a soulless mechanical manufacturing plant for my own personal delight.

Just put down an appeal to the sugar along with your favourite carbohydrate packed foodstuff and, well, something will happen.

Oooo trisodium citrate, yummy.




1 With no apologies whatsoever to The onion
2 Before 11/2007 at the latest, or the stuff will go off. Although I'll be lucky if I make 2 pm today frankly.
3 I have sand in my ear

Disclaimer: All this said I have, believe it or not, been cutting down on my daily sugar intake in order to be vaguely sensible about this whole thing and so that my <insert internal organ here> doesn't explode screaming in a flaming ball of marshmallows.