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Monday. Huzah. Insert grumbling about feeling cruddy Weds-Friday of last week

And now for your amusement, how I managed to flood my house on Saturday.

I was filling a bath - fairly normal you might think - and went away for "just a few mins" while it did; I got a little distracted and this turned into over an hour... with the result that water flooded over the top through the ceiling down the stairs and all over the place. Much mopping, towels and cursing followed.
Why was I filling the bath? Well now, you see the turkey I bought for lunch on Sunday was too big for the kitchen sink, so where else could I put it? Answer - in the bath.
Well, at least the turkey defrosted and the meal seemed to be appreciated.

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House update

Artex on the ceiling in the living room is cracking from the damp; not good.
Insurance phoned, awaiting calls back.

Extracts from work...

Me: Ah, my goggles have arrived.
Colleague: Goggles?
Me: For clubbing.
Colleague: What, hitting people?
Me: No, going to a club.
Colleague: Are the lights really bright or something?
Me: They're a... fashion accessory.
Colleague: Next you'll be telling me you have a handbag.
Me: You don't want to know the contents of my wardrobe.

[Seasonal] Card

I don't usually hand out cards for [insert current seasonal name of choice], however in order to get around this and save a few bob I present to you, the Acme™ December seasonal greeting card constructor!

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Wishing you a merry happy wonderous drunken fattening alien laden non-toxic stress-free Christmas Hanukah Yule assimilation Noel Something pub-crawl !
May this season this time opening hours the surgery the alien probing rabid badgers the fleas from a thousand camels find you well infest your bearskin rug be short and painless not start your allergies be extended forever nibble your toes not find you in a ditch .
And may your family friends cat partner pot plant can of spam new head liquor hangover shotgun llama be happy merry plentiful unannoying converted to a spleen providing you with a high kill count warm squishy chocolate coated .

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DISCLAIMER : The voices made me do it.

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( Some random... erm, something )