Oh no, unreality again

Oooo, unreality again; yep time once again folks where we say hello to all the other planes of existance



Welcome, welcome, good to see you all here this evening, or this morning I should say, but then again who can say which is which eh, reality 2351, aka 'Time has no meaning'
A cracked smattering of alarm bells and ticking noises
Que canned laughter
Thats too rich, we've got a great audience tonight and hell, if it all goes well enough we can just speak to 2351 over there and we can do it all again folks!
Que applause
But seriously, theres times like this in the morning (music begins to skit itself up on a cool backbeat - low tempo, just a little acoustic guitar and a piano following like a ardent puppy) I just feel the need to just mellow out, sing my song and just let the music flow
(Piano breaks beat to chase the guitar, the guitar skips a few querky chords as compere style the announcer sits on the piano and clicks his fingers at the player who gives him a cheesy ol' grin)
Yeah

I get no kick from champagne
Mere alcohol doesn't thrill me at all
So tell me why should it be true
That I get a kick out of you.

Some get a kick from cocaine
I'm sure that if I took even one sniff
It would bore me terrific'ly too
Yet I get a kick out of you.

I get a kick every time I see
You're standing there before me
I get a kick though it's clear to see
You obviously don't adore me.

I get no kick in a plane
Flying too high with some guy in the sky
Is my idea of nothing to do
Yet I get a kick out of you.

Yeah...
Applause from the audience

Thank you, thank you ladies and gents, we're going to have a wonderful morning, got some great guests coming up, and more music - stay with us

The Unreality Show - Ad break

{white flash of screen, que white lettering on plain black background}
Do you worry about your mental health?

{Video sfx: Man chewing on a side of a ruler as he scratches his head}

{black lettering again}
Do you feel out of place in society?

{Video sfx: Man in pink tutu, tank-top, moonboots and a banana hat walking through rows of business types}

{black lettering again}
Do your friends call you nuts?

{Video sfx: Woman opening birthday present, its a pack of walnuts, she adds it to a pile of other nut related products}

{black lettering again}
Then don't worry, you're insane!

{A cheery voice speaks, the phone number flashes at the bottom of the screen}
Just dial 0800-NUTTER and we'll have the men in white coats around right away

The Unreality Show - Part 2

{Pan slowly into the studio over the clapping audience}

Welcome back! We're got a host more fun {Pause, cymbol crash for pun} for you coming up, but right now we're going straight to the audience for a few questions and spontaneous limerick time!

{More crowd applause, the host walks over to the audience, waving his mike at random person A}

Hi, welcome to the show, tell us all your name.
I'm Gerald, Gerald from Brixton
Hi Gerald, well that seems like a challenge to me, tell me Gerald, what do you do.
I'm a fishmonger
Thats great, well sit tight while I sing you a scale {Pause, cymbol crash for pun}

{Compere walks to piano who lays a brief flowing tinkle of notes as a warmup scale}
Low key, flowing, lets keep it upbeat... {The piano guy nods}

From Brixton a fishguy called Gerald,
Saw a show advertised in the Herald,
Said he to his lass
"This should be just class,
let us go, before seats are in peril!"

{More crowd applause, the host grins and bows}