In the news today
Mar. 28th, 2002 08:50 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
robinblokeFrom The Onion, source of all knowledge
Man Bitten By Radioactive Sloth Does The Lying-Around-All-Day Of 10 Normal Men
CENTRAL CITY—Laboratory assistant Brent Barker, bitten by a radioactive sloth last week in a freak lab accident, now possesses the relative loafing powers of 10 men. "Could someone pass me some more crackers?" asked the media-dubbed "Crimson Lump," speaking from his titanium sofa, the only known object that can withstand his superhuman lethargy. "I can't reach them from here." Scientists are likewise baffled at Barker's uncanny ability to remain motionless while watching amounts of television that would kill an ordinary mortal.
Man Bitten By Radioactive Sloth Does The Lying-Around-All-Day Of 10 Normal Men
CENTRAL CITY—Laboratory assistant Brent Barker, bitten by a radioactive sloth last week in a freak lab accident, now possesses the relative loafing powers of 10 men. "Could someone pass me some more crackers?" asked the media-dubbed "Crimson Lump," speaking from his titanium sofa, the only known object that can withstand his superhuman lethargy. "I can't reach them from here." Scientists are likewise baffled at Barker's uncanny ability to remain motionless while watching amounts of television that would kill an ordinary mortal.
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Gimme the Sloth!
Date: 2002-03-28 10:41 am (UTC)Hang on, I can do it without getting bitten...
And somebody offer this guy membership in the Church of Hafi...