Year of the spleen
Jan. 4th, 2002 09:22 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
robinblokeI now officially nominate 2002 "International year of the spleen", this most underrated of words shall rise up to grasp you by the throat and make impact your life throughout this year to come, just read these carefully calculated Horoscopes to see how the spleen will effect you;
Aries: (March 21—April 19)
Great things will come to pass for you in the coming year when your spouse suddenly develops a intense interest in body organs.
Taurus: (April. 20—May 20)
You will be convicted for a crime you did not commit and imprisioned in a maximum security facility, whereupon you will escape using only a spleen.
Gemini: (May 21—June 21)
Your job will advance in leaps and bounds when you suddenly find out how to blackmail your boss for selling body organs.
Cancer: (June 22—July 22)
Your dreams will come true this year! Unfortunately it's the ones that you'd really rather forget about where your spleen explodes and covers the world in custard.
Leo: (July 23—Aug. 22)
No amount of exercise this year is going to change the fact that you mistakenly bought clothes two sizes too small, go and vent yourself at the sales assistant.
Virgo: (Aug. 23—Sept. 22)
Your sense of adventure will send you to a faraway place that you have only ever dreamed of where you will recieve a strange feeling in your spleen. Unfortunately this place is Bolton.
Libra: (Sept. 23—Oct. 23)
Your house will mysterious get hit my a shower of spleen shaped meteors that turn out to be alien lifeforms who instantly assume you are the leader of earth and kidnap you.
Scorpio: (Oct. 24—Nov. 21)
Your firm belief in your principles will be shattered when they are torn apart in weekly slots in the sunday times's news column by Mr.V.Y.Spleen.
Sagittarius: (Nov. 22—Dec. 21)
You lack of understanding of the basics of gravity finally are your undoing when you float off the planet entirely and embed yourself in the moon. Astonomers name the crater 'The sea of spleen'
Capricorn: (Dec. 22—Jan. 19)
You will finally achieve fame this year! However this is unfortunately because a rare virus takes up residence in your spleen and you are carted off to a labratory for experiments.
Aquarius: (Jan. 20—Feb. 18)
The planets will strongly effect your emotions these next few months, followed by other programs on TV. Your spleen fits in there somewhere, trust me.
Pisces: (Feb. 19—March 20)
Um, spleen, yes, definately, a huge spleen will appear above your head and fortell your demise, before squashing you.
Or maybe I'm just talking rot.
Aries: (March 21—April 19)
Great things will come to pass for you in the coming year when your spouse suddenly develops a intense interest in body organs.
Taurus: (April. 20—May 20)
You will be convicted for a crime you did not commit and imprisioned in a maximum security facility, whereupon you will escape using only a spleen.
Gemini: (May 21—June 21)
Your job will advance in leaps and bounds when you suddenly find out how to blackmail your boss for selling body organs.
Cancer: (June 22—July 22)
Your dreams will come true this year! Unfortunately it's the ones that you'd really rather forget about where your spleen explodes and covers the world in custard.
Leo: (July 23—Aug. 22)
No amount of exercise this year is going to change the fact that you mistakenly bought clothes two sizes too small, go and vent yourself at the sales assistant.
Virgo: (Aug. 23—Sept. 22)
Your sense of adventure will send you to a faraway place that you have only ever dreamed of where you will recieve a strange feeling in your spleen. Unfortunately this place is Bolton.
Libra: (Sept. 23—Oct. 23)
Your house will mysterious get hit my a shower of spleen shaped meteors that turn out to be alien lifeforms who instantly assume you are the leader of earth and kidnap you.
Scorpio: (Oct. 24—Nov. 21)
Your firm belief in your principles will be shattered when they are torn apart in weekly slots in the sunday times's news column by Mr.V.Y.Spleen.
Sagittarius: (Nov. 22—Dec. 21)
You lack of understanding of the basics of gravity finally are your undoing when you float off the planet entirely and embed yourself in the moon. Astonomers name the crater 'The sea of spleen'
Capricorn: (Dec. 22—Jan. 19)
You will finally achieve fame this year! However this is unfortunately because a rare virus takes up residence in your spleen and you are carted off to a labratory for experiments.
Aquarius: (Jan. 20—Feb. 18)
The planets will strongly effect your emotions these next few months, followed by other programs on TV. Your spleen fits in there somewhere, trust me.
Pisces: (Feb. 19—March 20)
Um, spleen, yes, definately, a huge spleen will appear above your head and fortell your demise, before squashing you.
Or maybe I'm just talking rot.
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An ideal spleen
Date: 2002-01-04 01:31 am (UTC)Spleen
Quand le ciel bas et lourd pèse comme un couvercle
Sur l'esprit gémissant en proie aux longs ennuis
Et que de l'horizon embrassant tout le cercle
Il nous verse un jour noir plus triste que les nuits.
Quand la terre est changée en un cachot humide,
Où l'Espérance, comme une chauve-souris,
S'en va battant les murs de son aile timide
Et se cognant la tête à des plafonds pourris;
Quand la pluie étalant ses immenses traînées
D'une vaste prison imite les barreaux,
Et qu'un peuple muet d'infâmes araignées
Vient tendre ses filets au fond de nos cerveaux,
Des cloches tout à coup sautent avec furie
Et lancent vers le ciel un affreux hurlement,
Ainsi que des esprits errants et sans patrie
Qui se mettent à geindre opiniâtrement.
- Et de longs corbillards, sans tambours ni musique,
Défilent lentement dans mon âme; l'Espoir,
Vaincu, pleure, et l'Angoisse atroce, despotique,
Sur mon crâne incliné plante son drapeau noir.
(Baudelaire)
And who said it was all about body parts?
Re: An ideal spleen
Date: 2002-01-04 01:49 am (UTC)When the low and heavy sky weighs like a lid On the spirit groaning in prey with the long troubles And that horizon embracing all the circle It pours us one day black sadder than the nights. When the ground is changed into a wet dungeon, Where the Hope, like a bat, from goes away beating the walls of its timid wing And knocking the head to rotted ceilings; When the rain spreading out its immense trails Of a vast prison imitates the bars, And that dumb people of infamous Vient spiders to tighten its nets at the bottom of our brains, Bells suddenly jump with fury And launch towards the sky a dreadful howl, As well as wandering spirits and without fatherland Which are put at geindre obstinately. - And of long hearses, without drums nor music, Ravel slowly in my heart; the Hope, Overcome, cries, and the Anguish atrocious, despotic, On my tilted cranium plants its black flag. (Baudelaire)
Which isn't half bad for an automatic translation, Ozzy is probably screaming at this point.
Re: An ideal spleen
Date: 2002-01-04 02:06 am (UTC)When the low heavy sky weighs like a lid
Upon the groaning spirit, prey to long monotonies,
And embracing all the horizon's compass
Pours us a black day, sadder than our nights.
When the earth is changed into a dank cell
Where Hope flees bat-like
Beating the walls with timid wings
Striking its head against the rotten roof;
When the rain spreads out its endless trains
Like the bars of a vast prison
And a silent race of loathsome spiders
Come spread their nets deep in our brains.
Suddenly the bells ring out in fury
And hurl against the sky a fearful scream
Like homeless wandering spirits
That stubbornly begin to groan.
And long hearses, without drum or note
Parade slowly through my soul;
Hope beaten Weeps, and dreadful Anguish, despotic
Upon my bowed skull plants its banner black.
But apparently Baudelaire is scarily hard to translate accurately.
Re: An ideal spleen
Date: 2002-01-04 02:17 am (UTC)Couldn't tell if the babelfish translation was any good, my french is diabolical.
Re: An ideal spleen
Date: 2002-01-04 02:31 am (UTC)Year of the spleen
Lots of love God of surreal body organs.
Re: Year of the spleen
Date: 2002-01-04 01:50 am (UTC)I'm safe
Date: 2002-01-04 01:35 am (UTC)Re: I'm safe
Date: 2002-01-04 01:49 am (UTC)(que sinister music)
no subject
Date: 2002-01-04 01:41 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2002-01-04 01:51 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2002-01-04 02:04 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2002-01-04 02:16 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2002-01-04 02:17 am (UTC)