robinbloke | (no subject)

He strides into the room, careless of danger, intelligence and a half dozen other things normally considered vital for life itself. He struck a manly pose, thrusting his chest forward. There was a slight ripping sound from the spandex of his pants. "Ooops."

He shielded his eyes from the intense glare of the spiffy powers of the no-doubt awesome other people in this fine justice-dome... erm, tavern. Well you make what you can. Disregarding the danger of his ripped pants, and probably several local clothing laws he grinned widely and called out, "Fear not citizens, for I Non Sensical Man have returned from battling the evil wholemeal bread of evil to once again save this fair city from terror, fixed gambling rates and cheap cable TV. Rejoice!"

He gasped. His eyes widening, for there, hidden amoungst the other inhabitants of this tave... erm, justice dome, was his fearful nemesis. Feared throughout the known universe, terror of the eight galaxies of phobos 7, scourge of dinnerladies, creator of those little hand wipe things that never really get your hands clean, talkshow host and all around bad guy.... Dr. Chair! He pointed a dramatic finger at the cunningly disguised chair. "You! Dr. Chair! I should have known you'd be behind the latest spree of high programme to advert ratios on local cable TV - But I, Non Sensical Man have seen through your cunning disguise!"

The chair seems largely unconcerned with the ~~ranting lunatic~~ Non Sensical Man's uncovery of it's disguise, in fact if anything it concentrates on looking even more like a chair, it's a damn clever disguise. One might almost think it's just a chair... almost.

He shook his fist dramatically! "My latest invention, the death whisk will see quickly to your demise, Dr.Chair." he fumbled around in his non-sensensical utility belt, and produced, with a flourish, what could only be described as an ordinary household whisk. "Ha! How I have you! I can see you're scared, Dr.Chair. I can see your legs shaking from here."
The chair, however, seems utterly unphased by this latest development.

And so, ~~the resident nutcase~~ our mighty hero leapt forward, with his fearsome warcry of "CHEEEEEEESE!" however miscalculating his jump somewhat and the fact he's actually managed to tie his own shoelaces together. And so, with a hefty splat he moves a grand total of three feet and falls flat on his face with a considerable THUMP.

Far from lord it's sudden victory over the briefly stunned ~~fool~~ hero, the sinister Dr. Chair seems to revel in taunting him all the more, by staying even more immobile, and even more like... a chair.

He shook his fist in the air, "Curse you gravity for conspiring with my nemesis!" He squirmed slightly and managed to pull himself sideways to a table. He paused, looking at it carefully, then back at the chair in case it should try and make a break for it. With visible effort he manages to straighten himself and pull himself half onto the table, which proceeds to immediately tip over and send him hurtling back onto the floor again, "Aiiiiiiiiieeee!"

Obviously pleased with it's co-consipitor, the sinister chair stands utterly still, watching as the hapless ~~mental patient~~ struggles to extract himself from under the chair.
"Super... powers.... fading.... huge... mega-table... crushing.... me...."

From under the table he coughs and splutters... then suddenly changes voice, speaking out loud and clearly.
"Will our hero be crushed by the mega-table? Will the sinsiter Dr.Chairs plans for the free world succeed? Will our hero ever untie his shoelaces? Tune in same time, same channel next week for another gripping episode of.... Non Sensical Man Dun Dun DUUUUUUUUN"