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Jun. 29th, 2004 09:50 amWhen you opend your eyes the world came in. Sound had already been there and sensation was the first to make it's mark. Scent was a distant second thought perhaps, and likely the faint touch of mint from the evenings toothbrush hopefully still lingered in your mouth, or maybe the sand from a thousand deserts was parked there after a 'good' night out.
Regardless it's morning now and everything is in focus, you're awake. Your input functions are now active, reactionary output capacity is ready for the primary bootstrap to finish guiding your mind through the mental checklist of operations.
Waking up is the option, the faint fuzz and sweet taste of oblivion that is sleep hangs under you like weights dragging you down through the bed. How easy it would be to close your eyes and fall, fall away down from your senses and into nothingness.
Is this what death is like? It's the only comparision we can have perhaps, sleep and death are so often put together. Pets are put to sleep, Grandfather was 'sleeping' when you saw him that time.
Some might think that our dreams a window into what lies beyond death, but maybe it's just our minds trying to make sense of what the world has become and what you are doing, a thousand neurons firing frantically, going over the decisions and problems of the day in a personal picture show, random scenes spliced over the images and thoughts to merge into a twisted and skewed vision of what we are.
Self analysis. Drifting introspection. Deja-vu all over again.
Now. Now your eyes are what has led you here, to this moment, this sentance, this word, this l e t t e r. Close them for a moment and try to feel with your mind, touch what you are as it slips and slides away from your thoughts, catch it in a net of awareness and throw away all your senses as you reach inside to what lies inside.
Not what you are, because you are a jigsaw, a sum of parts that you slowly collect pieces for to make the picture. But as you collect the pieces you don't grow closer to making the picture, it just becomes larger - but clearer as to what it will eventually become.
Regardless it's morning now and everything is in focus, you're awake. Your input functions are now active, reactionary output capacity is ready for the primary bootstrap to finish guiding your mind through the mental checklist of operations.
Waking up is the option, the faint fuzz and sweet taste of oblivion that is sleep hangs under you like weights dragging you down through the bed. How easy it would be to close your eyes and fall, fall away down from your senses and into nothingness.
Is this what death is like? It's the only comparision we can have perhaps, sleep and death are so often put together. Pets are put to sleep, Grandfather was 'sleeping' when you saw him that time.
Some might think that our dreams a window into what lies beyond death, but maybe it's just our minds trying to make sense of what the world has become and what you are doing, a thousand neurons firing frantically, going over the decisions and problems of the day in a personal picture show, random scenes spliced over the images and thoughts to merge into a twisted and skewed vision of what we are.
Self analysis. Drifting introspection. Deja-vu all over again.
Now. Now your eyes are what has led you here, to this moment, this sentance, this word, this l e t t e r. Close them for a moment and try to feel with your mind, touch what you are as it slips and slides away from your thoughts, catch it in a net of awareness and throw away all your senses as you reach inside to what lies inside.
Not what you are, because you are a jigsaw, a sum of parts that you slowly collect pieces for to make the picture. But as you collect the pieces you don't grow closer to making the picture, it just becomes larger - but clearer as to what it will eventually become.
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