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Nov. 14th, 2003
Caution: May contain nuts
Nov. 14th, 2003 09:53 amSilence is like loneliness. There are times when I need to be by myself, have space to be me without worrying about anything or anyone else interfering with my headspace or direction, so I can just do... stuff1 and be clear in my head with myself2. But even when I'm alone I like to have music, sound, noise... something. I used to fall asleep in total darkness, silence - the slightest noise would annoy me and shake me from the oblivion I was slipping into, but now I like to have some music3, or just the sound of the waves around me as I drift away. It's like the comforting arms of a lover almost, some kind of presence to hold me or be with me as I drift away. Sort of makes me hope there’s going to be some music I like playing when I snuff it, it'll be more reassuring that way.
If I was a soundtrack, I'd be forever playing; I am exceedingly grateful that my company lets me listen to music4, it helps the day go past, it helps me blank out the people and environment around me - it's another sort of escapism in a way, except it's music instead of imagination. Then again anyone who knows me at least remotely well can tell you that I have extreme difficulty focusing on anything other than one thing at once, just watch me try and have two conversations at once5, it's not going to happen.
I think that, if I could, I'd have speakers installed into my skull so I could listen to music 24/7, I'd probably need some kind of switch so I can turn it off whilst I talk to people but otherwise, music is life - the world is a darker place without it.
1 Used in preference to 'whatever' which I am attempting to wean myself off using.
2 Some might argue this is too much company already.
3 More often than not the Bladerunner soundtrack.
4 Currently the much underrated 'Alisha's attic'.
5 Trying to get sense out of me6 whilst I am reading is also pretty damn impossible
6 If any actually exists in the first place
If I was a soundtrack, I'd be forever playing; I am exceedingly grateful that my company lets me listen to music4, it helps the day go past, it helps me blank out the people and environment around me - it's another sort of escapism in a way, except it's music instead of imagination. Then again anyone who knows me at least remotely well can tell you that I have extreme difficulty focusing on anything other than one thing at once, just watch me try and have two conversations at once5, it's not going to happen.
I think that, if I could, I'd have speakers installed into my skull so I could listen to music 24/7, I'd probably need some kind of switch so I can turn it off whilst I talk to people but otherwise, music is life - the world is a darker place without it.
1 Used in preference to 'whatever' which I am attempting to wean myself off using.
2 Some might argue this is too much company already.
3 More often than not the Bladerunner soundtrack.
4 Currently the much underrated 'Alisha's attic'.
5 Trying to get sense out of me6 whilst I am reading is also pretty damn impossible
6 If any actually exists in the first place
(no subject)
Nov. 14th, 2003 09:59 amIf variety is the spice of life, what exactly were you cooking in the first place?