This is too good not to share...

http://hugin.sigusr1.org/~pakin/complaint

Disclaimer

I disclaim everything ever. I blame the alien mind-control lasers. I bare no resemblance to Murdoch of the A-Team. At the time in question I was at home watching TV. Officer. Ducks crossing. No correspondance can be entered into. No cash alternative. Send six proofs of purchase before end date. May contain hot food. Store in a cool dry place, away from sunlight and strong flavours. Do not cross. Fused at 30A. No deposit. The white zone is for loading and unloading only. Hand wash only. In opening this package you agree to all terms of the EULA. Low flying aircraft. Do not press this button. Handle with care. In the event of fire choose leave by the nearest available exit. I am not responsible for damage to any vehicles parked on me. Not actual size. May contain nuts. 37.5% ABV. Eye hazard. Tested for electrical safety. [Deleted for security reasons]. Obey local speed limit. Wide load. Closed on sundays. Beware of seasonal adjustment. Less than 20% fat. To open twist lid. Contains propellants. Do not stack more than 5 high. Fragile. Explosive. Corrosive. Not a qualified First Aider. Keep hands away from belt when machine is on. Mirror, signal, maneuver. Beware of laser. Made from leather. Contains moving parts. Not suitable for children under 216 months. Cash only. Please allow 15 minutes before closing time. Now with added mayo. Supersize available. Observe breathing restrictions. Hull pressure critical. Disengage handbreak. File alphabetically. Not responsible for fire, flood, tsunami or acts of god.

(no subject)

Random poetry frizz
My mind really isn't up to it
I started but I didn't finish.

Wibbles, lost that one now.