Introspection

The brain is a horrible thing. It lets you think.

Instincts, emotion, thoughts, wants, needs, hates and fears, all rolled into a chaotic neuron storm of ideas and sensation waiting to explode out and express itself.
I have to distract my brain sometimes, to stop it thinking or I 'think' I'd go mad, just a bit of peace and quiet away from the chaos of the world to let my mind be free of cares and woes for a few instants, it's so relaxing. Sometimes, when I'm really lucky I can just switch off my thoughts and not think at all, I can just type and type or stare blankly at something; at that moment there is no thought or ideas or decisions being made behind what I do, just the raw underlying stuff, the subconcious to the fore doing whatever it wants as the rest of me just follows along behind it, eyes wide like the rabbit staring at an oncoming car.
Music, music helps this; My moods are so charged and wierd at times that I can sink into a depression or get into a hyper bouncy mood at the drop of a song, or a note. Sound is such a strong stimuli for memory; and emotion. Scent too, when I don't have a stinking cold.

I think everyone should try just once to stop thinking, even for a moment, even just for a second and try and free their mind away from the strife and despair, joy and hope, woe and fears of the world so that you are just you even for a split second, freed away from the interaction from the world - no barriers, no filters or input/output from what is around you, just a feeling of utter release from everything.

You can't really describe these moments, not at least in my experience, because to do that, you have to describe what it is to be utterly you, and nothing else.

Split second of self humour

Just muttered to myself 'Stupid language' regarding the code I'm doing at the moment, a split second later I realised that the error was my fault, but the statement still held true, just with a different spelling. 'Stupid Langridge'.

Pins and needles

I think, maybe even in a dream I've long since assumed is reality; I could once control shivers as they ran down my spine, the sudden quirky feelings that suddenly just roll from nowehere, and move them, to an arm, a leg, and back again; I don't seem to be able to do this now; so maybe it was a dream, reality sometimes is so patchy when you have a bad memory like me, wondering if anything you remember was once real or just a delerium of twisted sleepy thoughts; I don't really know. Some things I know happened, the senses and feelings are still so sharp in my mind; but then maybe they're just a dream I liked and don't want to let go. Maybe reality is just something I want to relegate to a dream.

Thought.0

Ideas can be easy, words harder.