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Aug. 2nd, 2001
Disjointed...
Aug. 2nd, 2001 11:32 amFeeling a little disjointed at the moment, minds all a whirl as I try to wonder exactly what feelings are bubbling around in my addled brain at the moment, not really sure - theres sugar certainly, hmmm, sugar as a feeling, well I suppose in a way for me it defines certain feelings, a zing in my veins, hyperactivity, a rush of self-confidence and exuberance, so sugar is a feeling. Hmmm. Okay, well I like sugar then, as a feeling that is, and as a thing itself, ok so I it is entirely possible (read 'most certainly am') chemically, psycologically and physically addicted to the stuff but I don't give a stuff, which is probably just another side of addiction, I mean what other kind of drug can you do for... nigh on 20 years straight, every day, day in day out, with no ill effects other than tooth decay and the occasional jitters if you don't get your fix, no really, I'd like to know... it's cheaper than nicotine, safer than alchol, legal from the moment you're born, a longer buzz than caffine, I couldn't comment on it's relative merits compared to non legal drugs... but frankly they all fall down on the expense issue and safety issue if nothing else.
So I'm feeling sugared, it's having a wild little party in my veins and every endorphin and hormone is invited, come along, bring the kids - it'll be a great day out for one and all, relax, kick back by the side of a lard choked artery as the zingy sensation of bubbly carbohydrates whistle past singing to you like an angel ascending to the cloudy heights of whereever.
So I'm feeling sugared, it's having a wild little party in my veins and every endorphin and hormone is invited, come along, bring the kids - it'll be a great day out for one and all, relax, kick back by the side of a lard choked artery as the zingy sensation of bubbly carbohydrates whistle past singing to you like an angel ascending to the cloudy heights of whereever.
Depression...
Aug. 2nd, 2001 01:12 pmWell I've started one Jihad against not-purple purple skittles so I may as well start another, this one is against depression; now me like many other souls on this great big spinning dirtball of a planet...
yay! My build worked! Ooops, sidetracked there...
anyway, yes, souls, dirtball, planet... gets depressed once in a while, or more often or not as the case may be, the world gets you down, you feel all alone and whatnot and there seems nothing to do except put on depressing music, drink and curl up feeling sorry for yourself.
Now depression isn't fun, I don't -enjoy- being depressed, it's difficult to get out of granted with it's seductive 'give it all up and concentrate on memememe and that the world isn't fair and I wish it was all better but it's not going to be oh muttermuttermutter...' etc. But frankly, after early this week with a teeny bout of depression and a bit of introspection I came to the conclusion of 'bollox to that'. Indeed, bollox to depression, I'm going to make the effort to forcefully drag myself kicking and screaming to happyness whenever depression threatens, happyness is good, even if artifically induced, so how can I do it? Pants loads of sugar, chocolate, and ultra-bouncy music, force a smile on my face and do something fun, kill some people in Unreal Tournament, watch a film... something, hey, it may not work, but at least it'll keep me from thinking about whats depressing me.
Right anyway, I'm off to get a bacon and cheese toastie from the canteen.
yay! My build worked! Ooops, sidetracked there...
anyway, yes, souls, dirtball, planet... gets depressed once in a while, or more often or not as the case may be, the world gets you down, you feel all alone and whatnot and there seems nothing to do except put on depressing music, drink and curl up feeling sorry for yourself.
Now depression isn't fun, I don't -enjoy- being depressed, it's difficult to get out of granted with it's seductive 'give it all up and concentrate on memememe and that the world isn't fair and I wish it was all better but it's not going to be oh muttermuttermutter...' etc. But frankly, after early this week with a teeny bout of depression and a bit of introspection I came to the conclusion of 'bollox to that'. Indeed, bollox to depression, I'm going to make the effort to forcefully drag myself kicking and screaming to happyness whenever depression threatens, happyness is good, even if artifically induced, so how can I do it? Pants loads of sugar, chocolate, and ultra-bouncy music, force a smile on my face and do something fun, kill some people in Unreal Tournament, watch a film... something, hey, it may not work, but at least it'll keep me from thinking about whats depressing me.
Right anyway, I'm off to get a bacon and cheese toastie from the canteen.
