Warning, mini-rant

[robinbloke]

Yes, once again it's time for my marketing rant; have you heard Micro$oft's new 'mission statement'?
"We want to build great software and empower people"
What sort of tosh is that? What software company doesn't want to write great software? Does this imply that all the other companies write cr*p software? That Micro$oft can only strive to write great software (their mission, should they choose to accept it...) but in fact never will.
Dilbert has the right idea about these

Empower
Verb: empower
1. Give or delegate power to
2. Give qualities or abilities to
And 'empower', I hate that word, I really really don't like it at all. It's a marketing word, noone uses it except people who work in marketing, words like proactive, synergistically, innovative, facilitate and utilize. These words aren't used by anyone else, they don't mean anything in any sort of real-life context, it's not a word!
Right, I feel better now... maybe I ought to generate a mission statement to proactively synergise an assertive and innovative paradigm to facilitate empowerment of my intellectual capital.

Yeah right.

Comments

Er -

[puddingcat.livejournal.com]

Dave said "proactive" on Saturday. Umprompted (proactively, even) and not in jest.

Re: Er -

[borusa.livejournal.com]

Surely he was just trying to leverage your synergies in a proactive customer-facing scenario?

Re: Er -

[jonnyargles.livejournal.com]

*Slap!*

Filthy beast!

Re: Er -

[robinbloke.livejournal.com]

Argh! Nooooo! Stoppitstoppitstoppit!

[karohemd.livejournal.com]

This mission statement generator is superb!! ;o)

And to any marketing people out there who write stuff like that and want it translated into German - f*** off! After legalese probably the worst texts to translate.

[kizzie.livejournal.com]

you spend far too much tiome reading stuff into things like this robin... you know that :-)

kat

[robinbloke.livejournal.com]

I just have a deep loathing for marketing, that's all. It is evil and must be punished, no, hang on, thats my liver.

Re:

[kizzie.livejournal.com]

vodka???

where are you oh great vodka?

[robinbloke.livejournal.com]

In my fridge at home...

mmmmm vodka...

Speaking of Vodka, and parties also, you going to Christi's party on friday?

g'wan g'wan...

Re:

[kizzie.livejournal.com]

nah sos...

got a friends party up here... non gossip person...

I hate that crap

[sherbetsaucers.livejournal.com]

A good one was when I asked my manager what our specific goal of the day was and he said "they havn't comunicated that to me yet".

Re: I hate that crap

[robinbloke.livejournal.com]

That sort of sums up company beaucracy really...