robinbloke: (Default)
My companies canteen has started selling Caramacs joyous sugary bliss!
However they have stopped selling Curly Wurlys, dammit. Someday, somehow I will do a pimp my snack and make myself a four foot long Curley wurley that is a half foot wide, oh yes - It would only take about 24 bars all melted together...

Sugar is nostalgia; I remember the snacks of my youth, the much lamented loss of Snaps crisps with the little dragon on the front which we used to buy from Ms. Moss's shop, an eccentric ten thousand year old granny who ran a sweet shop in our village for the hell of it as much as anything else, as far as I could tell. She didn't seem to like kids at all, must have been some kind of bizarre masochistic thing.
But the door had a bell on it.

But most lamented of all, for me, are pacers this tiny little description on Wiki barely does them justice; all the consistency of Opal Fruits (Starburst mutter mutter mutter) with the delicious squishy mintness of, um, mint. The adverts were bizarre too, people wearing white cycling, driving and walking around suddenly becoming covered in green stripes to a "Whoop! Whoop! Whoop!" noise.

Ah, memories.
robinbloke: (Default)
Roll up, roll up; get yer horoscopes here, nice shiny new horoscopes the like o' which the world 'as never seen1. Whoops, watch your hand there madam, that ones got a bit of a bite on 'im, nasty little bugger that. Pick yer horoscope here, we have all sizes shapes and colours catered for every occasion! Heading out for the night, well may I recommend the sardonic yet hopeful horoscope in the corner, yes I know he's growling sir but that's just his way of showing affection. Lovely little beastie once you get used to his teeth on your arm, and yes madam he does come in purple as well.

Yes indeedy folks, the world of sugar once again presents you with the opportunity to have innane drivel generated about whatever I happen to be hallucinating highly meaningful aspects of your life, times and toupee. As horoscopes are the medium of analysing the planets as they effect your daily life and social interactions so are sugarscopes the way of analysing how sugar effects your digestion, brain, fear of the number 3 and kinky relationship with maple syrup.

This offer lasts until I break2 and scarf down 52.5g of sugar, glucose syrup, fruit juices from concentrate (25%) and a variety of other less savoury ingredients churned together in a soulless mechanical manufacturing plant for my own personal delight.

Just put down an appeal to the sugar along with your favourite carbohydrate packed foodstuff and, well, something will happen.

Oooo trisodium citrate, yummy.




1 With no apologies whatsoever to The onion
2 Before 11/2007 at the latest, or the stuff will go off. Although I'll be lucky if I make 2 pm today frankly.
3 I have sand in my ear

Disclaimer: All this said I have, believe it or not, been cutting down on my daily sugar intake in order to be vaguely sensible about this whole thing and so that my <insert internal organ here> doesn't explode screaming in a flaming ball of marshmallows.

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robinbloke

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